By Jenny Jones of Life’s A Polyp
I typically find myself anxiously awaiting the new year and the changes it brings. A freshness and newness to the staleness of daily life. New challenges and goals set forth with endless possibilities. The excitement can be overwhelming.
But not today. Today I just want stillness. I want to savor today’s moment without the past lurking over my shoulder or the future calling for me.
Today I’m devoid of feeling, of stress, of worry. My soul, battered by the barrage of life’s daily circus, longs for solitude. No longer racing with a myriad of thoughts, my heart quietly beats and my mind lingers amongst itself in a somber atmosphere, careful to not break the stillness.
Today I rest my tired body and soul with eyes closed as I listen to the sounds in the distance, shutting out the demanding voice of life and instead merely existing. Now is not the time for continued self-analysis in a constant state of self-discovery and transformation. Nor is it time for tackling the never-ending duties required for living. No, it is a time for a stillness that allows recharging for the mountains that lie ahead. There is much work in reaching the summit. Battles for passage and testing of strength and fortitude. There is much to be lost so that much may be gained. It is an exhausting battle.
Tomorrow is the day to let my battle cry ring out from my chest, from my soul. A battle cry to accept nothing less than the best of myself. I will take the hardness of life and I will create, forge, and transform it into survival and light. It will etch its name upon my soul. I will become it and I will know no difference.
But not yet. Today is the day I take for myself, away from the battle scene. I let the stillness wash over me, soothing my spiritual aches. Tucked away in a quiet corner of the world. I question myself not, I search myself not. I simply be. I be in a world of violence and beauty; a world of demands and gifts; a world of damage and healing.
Tomorrow I fight. Tomorrow I climb.
This post was originally published on Life’s A Polyp.
About Jenny Jones
Jenny was diagnosed with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis at age 8 and after 6 years with an ileostomy now has a Straight Pull Thru. She has a Masters degree in Social Work and shares on her personal blog Life’s A Polyp.