Kid Rock recently announced his intention to run for the United States Senate, representing his home state of Michigan. This is where we are now.
What the fuck, America?
Listen, I understand that celebrities running for office is nothing new.
Ronald Reagan, the patron saint of the GOP, was an actor before becoming governor of California and then president of the United States. I’m not a Reagan fan, and I think a lot of his legend is historical revisionism, but I’ll give him credit for appearing competent and making people feel secure. (And to my knowledge, he never publicly bragged about grabbing women by the pussy, so there’s that.)
Reagan opened the door for other celebrities to throw their hats into the political ring: Clint Eastwood, Sonny Bono, Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Al Franken, just to name a few.
Skipping ahead to 2016, we see reality star and six-time bankruptcy filer Donald Trump elected to the highest office in the land.
What is happening?
We’re fucking lazy. That’s the problem.
We are living in a time of unprecedented access to information and we still can’t be bothered to do our due diligence. Why take ten minutes to research an unfamiliar candidate’s policy platform when you can just decide, “Uh, that Kid Rock makes a lot of songs and is on the TV so he must be rich. Rich people are smart. Kid Rock has my vote!” That’s some solid fucking inductive logic there, folks.
Then there are the voters who are obsessed with the idea of an outside perspective. I understand the appeal of someone with solid credentials who isn’t entrenched in the corrupt political machine, okay? But JUST being an outsider doesn’t make a professional wrestler or rapper-turned-country musician a qualified legislator. (If you want to argue with me on this, I suggest the next time you need the services of an airline pilot or cardiovascular surgeon, consider an “outsider.” Let me know how it works out for you.)
I don’t really have a problem with Kid Rock. I’m originally from Michigan, too. I own “Devil Without a Cause.” I love Southern Comfort. It’s just that those things would not be enough to earn my vote.
We need to stop electing the person who repeats his own name the loudest. We’re better than that.