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By Eileen Turay of Liv & Leen

This is a follow-up post to “He Probably is a Bad Guy: Putting Your Safety Over ‘That Guy’s Feelings.”

So we’ve been told to listen to our guts as a means to keep ourselves safe and that we should teach our kids to listen to their guts as well. But what is the next part of the lesson—what should we do, what should our kids do, if they are in the presence of a “bad guy”?

It is important for us, the mothers, to live by example. As women, we need to make sure we never become the victim. Once we act like the victim, we easily become one. The following are some valuable tips taught via the RAD self-defense method that we should remember and impart unto our children. These tips could save our lives.

1. Look him (or her) right in the eyes.  This is to let him know you see him. When we are uncomfortable, eye contact is awkward, but it can save your life. Predators want anonymity when selecting a victim so they have the element of surprise when they attack. If you look at him, it means you see him and are aware of your surroundings and will spot him when he moves in (and his attack may not go as planned).

2. DO NOT Get on your phone. You may FEEL safer while talking to a friend, but you put a target on your back because a distracted person is a perfect victim. Tell your friend/mom/sister that you’ll call her when you get to your destination. Then if she doesn’t hear from you, she can worry.

3. Be Loud! If a creeper does approach you and you feel really uncomfortable, say loudly, “STAY AWAY FROM ME or GO AWAY!” An aggressor doesn’t want extra attention, so don’t be afraid to yell loudly. (You can also honk your horn for a long time or push the panic button if in or near your car). This can also go with a physical message like a hand movement to indicate he needs to stop approaching you. Not only does this show the attacker you are willing to be loud, it also justifies your actions if you need to physically defend yourself because you warned him in advance.

4. Walk Tall! Do not walk like a victim. Walk with confidence (even if you have to fake it), straighten your stance, and puff out your chest. If you walk hunched over and look scared, you are letting the aggressor know you are scared.

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5. FIGHT! Lastly, if it EVER gets to the point where someone comes up to you and does get violent with you, NEVER let him take you to another location. You have a better chance fighting for your life (even against a weapon) than you do once you get taken to another location. Also, verbalize an attempt to call for help. Sometimes screaming is misconstrued for children playing; so make sure to use a loud, clear voice saying, “NO! STAY BACK! LEAVE ME ALONE!” If someone gets in your car and threatens you to drive, get into an accident! Crash your car on purpose. The attention will be undesired and you’ll have likely avoided going to another location. You also have a better chance of surviving with your seatbelt and airbags vs the encounter with the predator.

In addition to teaching our kids how to handle themselves in unsafe situations, we should also have honest and direct conversations about why they need to know this information. For example: “There are some people in this world who aren’t so nice. They don’t make good choices. We only talk to strangers when Mommy or Daddy are with you and say it’s ok.” That’s about it…. it’s really simple.

There are so many things we can do as women to protect our families and ourselves. If you never want to be a victim, don’t be one. Trust your instincts, and never put your safety aside to protect someone else’s feelings.

The link below is to the RAD Self Defense program. It is interactive and fun. You can locate a training center in your area and get the extra knowledge and skills you need to protect yourself.

RAD Self Defense

You can never overeducate yourself. Stay safe!

This post was originally featured on Liv & Leen.

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About Eileen Turay

Eileen has her Masters of Science in Counseling with a school specialization, she worked with children with Autism for a few years using ABA (applied behavior analysis), and she has taught at both preschool and elementary levels. (She’s even put in quite a few years waiting tables…don’t knock it till you try it 😉 She is currently working as a School Counselor at an Elementary School and loving everyday. Eileen is from a big family, making leadership naturally forced on her as a necessary skill being the oldest of five kids and second oldest of 22 cousins. Follow her blog at Liv & Leen, and find her on Facebook and Twitter.