There are moms out there who have it all together. Their hair is done, their makeup is flawless, they wear actual pants for pants, and their baby slept through the night at 6 weeks old. I am not one of these moms.

I live in a constant state of exhaustion. Sometimes I fear that I will never know what “rested” actually feels like. EVER. As I write this I am currently drinking my third cup of coffee. Yes. Third. Don’t judge. I wear leggings as pants, my hairstyle most days can best be described as “messy bun,” and I have one leg that is bigger than the other from having a toddler permanently attached to it.

Apparently I’m not alone.

Lindsay Hartsock of The Hartsocks’ Photography posted a picture of her 13-year-old daughter Jillian dressed up as a tired mom for Halloween on her Facebook page, and moms everywhere can relate. Because we have ALL been there.

The post has been shared and liked thousands of times with the majority of people laughing and saying, “This is me.”

Jillian’s costume includes stained yoga pants, UGG boots, a nondescript sweater hanging limply on her shoulders, and a wrinkled t-shirt half-tucked into her pants along with a diaper. Does it get anymore real?

Yes. Yes, it does. Because what makes this most real of all? Her blank, “OMGI’veneverbeensotiredinmyentirelifeandwhatisthisthingattachedtomyleg” stare. I have seen that stare before. In the mirror. As I held my screaming newborn baby and watched my 2-year-old, who suddenly had no bones, writhing around on the floor because the string cheese was suddenly too stringy.

And let’s not forget about the venti Starbucks coffee (because coffee is life, people), the dark circles under the eyes (which may or may not be yesterday’s mascara), the visible nursing pad, the burp cloth, the pacifier clip, and the spit-up dribbling down her chest (because what else really screams “MOM!”?).

She’s also holding an infant, has a toddler clinging to her leg, and has a Target bag slung on her arm, which, according to a comment made by Hartsocks’ Photography on the post, contains “diapers, wipes and three bottles of wine.” Sounds about right.

Look, motherhood is awesome. I wouldn’t change it for anything. But it’s exhausting. Ever wonder why moms are always tired? Let’s think about it for a moment, shall we?

It’s not just about the sleepless nights, or the hungry baby that is sucking the very life right out of you. It’s not just about the crying, the changing diapers, the constant feedings, the bathing, the dressing, the wiping, the shushing, the swaddling, the swaying.

Perhaps you should take a seat.

It’s keeping humans ALIVE. Do you know how freaking hard this is? It’s a miracle that toddlers even grow up to be adults. They are constantly on a mission to end themselves. They get into everything. EVERYTHING. They find things. Things that you never realized were dangerous before kids. Things like Sharpies and trash cans and the pair of scissors that were safely tucked away in the upper cabinet, which your little SpiderMan somehow managed to climb up to while you spent one minute in the bathroom. One minute.

But it’s not just about keeping them alive. It’s also teaching tiny people how to wipe their own butts, be good humans, and brush their teeth. It’s laundry, meal preparation, cleaning. It’s having everything that you do sabotaged and destroyed moments after completion. That clean counter? Yeah, two seconds later it’s covered in hair ties, crayons, Lego pieces and Hot Wheels. The newly scrubbed toilet seat? It’s now dribbled in pee. And you just sat in it.

It’s thinking about ALL.THE.THINGS. What you did. What you need to do. What you didn’t get done. Is your child happy? Healthy? Making friends? Are you doing enough? Doing too much? Is your child going to turn out okay?

It doesn’t change when the kids go to school. Trust me. I know. There is classroom volunteering, field trips, random celebration days, teacher appreciation lunches, grandparents tea, sports day, dress as your favorite book character day, Lego contest day, crazy hair day. So many days. There’s homework and book reports, fundraising and forms. Extra-curricular activities. With lessons and tournaments and games. There is also the driving. So much driving. If you’re not driving? You’re waiting. Waiting in parking lots, at the swimming pool, school gyms, and hockey rinks. There are dinners eaten on the run and shuffling schedules and desperate pleas to family to pick up Johnny because Susie’s soccer game time has just been changed.

And let’s talk about the emotional exhaustion, shall we? The constantly being needed. The endless talking or, as they age, the not talking enough. The worry we feel when our kids are sad. The roller coaster of emotions we have to deal with – the eye rolling, the feet stomping, the slamming of doors. The struggle of holding fast and knowing when it’s time to let go. 

Yes, motherhood is tiring. And amazing. And one day, much too soon, we’re going to look back on these days and wish we could live them all over again. Well, maybe not ALL of them.