By Habiba Anwar of Eat, Write, Be

Many moons ago, when Sudoku was all the rage, I remember coming across a Sudoku toilet roll. I swear to you, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever. I totally judged anyone who might want to spend that much time on the bog.

Oh, how the mighty fall.

Nowadays, the bathroom is my sanctuary, my retreat, my haven away from the big bad world. OK, I’ll stop with the exaggerations, but this next part is definitely true:

I spend a lot of extra time in the bathroom just to get some me-time squeezed in. Some days, there is literally no other way to do so.

Now that my daughter is a toddler just shy of 18 months, let’s just say life is all systems go, go, go! I have been known on a number of occasions to “desperately” need to use the bathroom, to shoot my husband my best “please-take-over” face, and to promptly lock myself in before he has the chance to fully process what’s just happened.

What am I doing in there, you ask? Here are a few examples:

1. Nothing. I’m literally just sitting in silence.

2. Catching up on 500 Whatsapp messages.

3. Reading emails. Including all the ones I’d normally delete unopened.

4. Checking Facebook.

5. And Twitter.

6. And Instagram.

7. And most recently, Snapchat.

8. Oh, what the heck, let’s see what’s on Flipboard too.

9. Some more silence.

10. Imagining how I could give the bathroom a makeover…

11. I tell myself I’m going to scrub the taps… one day.

12. I wish I had that book that I started reading 6 months ago in there…

13. Hold my breathe because I think my little one just yelled “mama!”

14. False alarm. Silence again.

15. Recheck Whatsapp.

16. Look at everyone’s Whatsapp profile pictures.

17. Google “recipes with chicken” or something equally vague that will have 1,000,000 results.

18. Block out the sound of my husband asking our daughter, “Where’s mama?”

19.Go back to Facebook.

20. Take multiple screenshots of people my friends and I stalk (don’t pretend you don’t).

21. Send said screenshots via Whatsapp.

22. Back to doing nothing again.

23. Listen to the sound of a tiny, inquisitive hand gently knocking on the door…

24. Jump when it rapidly changes to mad banging.

25. Wonder if she needs a diaper change.

26. Remember that it’s almost dinner time and I haven’t made her anything.

27. This time, muster up a reply when I hear “MAMAAAAAA!”

28. Check my phone one last time before pressing the lock button.

29. Open the door and…

30. We’re back to all systems go!

Have you ever hidden in the bathroom from your life, and if not… where do you hide? (There has to be somewhere!)

This post was originally published on Eat, Write, Be.

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About Habiba Anwar

Habiba is a mother-of-one from London, UK. By day she runs around after her toddler like a headless chicken; by night she blog about life and motherhood over at Eat, Write, Be. You can also find her rants on Facebook  and Twitter.