Ever wonder if you’re one of millions suffering from anxiety? Many dismiss mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, believing these are all manifestations of a person’s state of mind. If you’re a pessimist, of course you’re going to be anxious or depressed, they think.
This is the epitome of a chicken or egg situation. Is pessimism really to blame for anxiety or depression? Perhaps people are pessimists because they’re frequently anxious or depressed. See what I’m getting at here?
Because anxiety and depression are maladies often considered to be “all in one’s head” (DUH! Where else would they be?), some are hesitant to seek help if they think they might be anxious or depressed. Well, this humorous and lighthearted list is for you people. The ones afraid to consult a professional for fear of being labeled crazy. The ones who, if they can answer yes to these scenarios, are most likely anxious (and perhaps a little depressed) and should definitely seek medical attention from someone other than me — someone who actually knows what they’re talking about (because I’m no doctor, people; just a lowly blogger with anxiety issues all her own).
*Ahem* So here goes. You might have anxiety if…
You frequently worry about being murdered by an intruder in the middle of the night.
You can’t fall asleep easily because your mind won’t stop recapping everything that happened that day or everything that might happen the next day.
You catch yourself fantasizing about apocalyptic scenarios — what would happen if everyone on the expressway got in an accident at the same time; if an asteroid came crashing into Earth, destroying our atmosphere; if an earthquake wiped out the office complex in which you work.
Being trapped in a crowded elevator or an MRI machine makes you feel like a Yeti is squeezing your guts up into your mouth.
You are certain sending a credit card or mortgage payment in a day late will cause the world to spin off its axis.
You spend the entire day after a social gathering obsessing about all the stupid things you think you did.
You often second, third, and fourth guess your outfit for the day, worrying about whether or not it sends the right message for the occasion.
You have experienced (or do frequently) out-of-body sensations — like what is happening is so intense, you have to step outside it to get a grip.
Trivial occurrences (like accidentally saying the wrong thing) can be as embarrassing to you as showing up to school naked.
You often wonder if you’re naked.
You’ve bitten someone’s head off for something as simple as mispronouncing a word.
People who still pay by check in the grocery store check-out line exacerbate your homicidal tendencies.
Your dreams could be the next plot lines for a SciFi TV series.
You are certain you have whatever infirmity Big Pharma is advertising a cure for this week.
You can’t stand books turned movies because that’s totally not how you pictured the characters and setting — just so totally not.
You’ve actually drafted a survival plan and/or begun hoarding provisions for the Zombie Apocalypse.
You can’t stand crooked pictures or off-center furniture, so you fix it…except it’s now leaning a little to the left…now the right…left again…oh, DAMN YOU, ARTWORK, SATAN SENT YOU, DIDN’T HE?!
For an entire list of potential anxiety symptoms, visit the AnxietyCentre.com (and if you didn’t think you had anxiety before visiting, you definitely will after).
What other symptoms of anxiety did I miss?