By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama
It’s been a rough few weeks. Trying to keep up with current events, and separate facts from alternative facts, has become a full-time job. We’re all in desperate need of a break and some laughs.
With all of the fuckery going on, it’s safe to assume that the majority of us like animals more than politicians right now. So here are 18 of the all-time funniest tweets about animals:
[adsanity id=”35664″ align=”aligncenter”/]Therapist: We must remove our masks and express our true selves
Yoga instructor: True
Nutritionist: So wise
Raccoon: This is bullshit, Alan— Steve vs Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) August 18, 2016
[god creating bees] Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”— methodical nugget (@themiltron) April 8, 2015
WHAT IS IN THESE pic.twitter.com/XZPh8qnHbX
— 🌹 (@thinkbri) September 28, 2015
God: *inventing the elephant* let’s just move all the dials to maximum and see what happens
— Rollman (@Rollmaninoz) January 31, 2017
[God creating a turkey] God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock…
Animal technician: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on it’s face lol— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) June 1, 2015
[adsanity id=”35667″ align=”aligncenter”/]I cross-bred an octopus and a panda. Let me know if you’re interested in a pretty amazing hug.
— Mr. Bea Arthur (@FuckabillyRex) January 16, 2015
(God creating coyotes)
God: Make them look like dogs.
Angel: Exactly like dogs?
God: But with a meth problem.— Woody (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) January 12, 2017
God creating kittens
G-make them really fluffy & adorable like little furry hugs
Angel-that’s so swee..
G-& put razor blades on their feet— AKA Dave (@Dahmerscookpot) May 17, 2016
I can’t be the only one worried about where spiders go in winter.
— June (@junejuly12) December 27, 2016
[GOD CREATING MOTHS]
Make this stupid piece of paper fly.
— markydoodoo (@markydoodoo) February 7, 2017
[noah waves the last 2 animals onto the ark] welcome to the sex boat lol. wtf am i doing w my life
— chuuch (@ch000ch) February 22, 2014
[adsanity id=”35665″ align=”aligncenter”/][God creating spiders] “Make it have 8 legs”
Seems excessive but ok
“And 8 eyes”
You need to calm down a li-
“Give it a butt rope”— The Dogfather (@matt___nelson) June 18, 2016
[god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
— methodical nugget (@themiltron) December 26, 2015
I have sloth-like reflexes
“Don’t you mean catlike reflexes?”
[several hours later]No
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) December 26, 2014
[god drunk, inventing hedgehog]
so cute but u can’t cuddle it cuz, prickly quills or whatever, hahaha
[passes out] pic.twitter.com/h1o4Tn4Z65— beth on vacation (@bourgeoisalien) April 5, 2016
Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to “sweep the leg”. They’ve all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it.
— MakeAmericaMEHAgain (@TheAlexNevil) August 12, 2013
*god making an octopus*
G: more arms
Angel: but ts water based it doesn’t ne
G: MORE
Angel: uhh boss you sure it looks ridicu
G: MORE.ARMS.— Rollman (@Rollmaninoz) September 26, 2015
[adsanity id=”35666″ align=”aligncenter”/][inventing the parrot] HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) February 18, 2015
I don’t know about you guys, but I would sooner vote for any of these creatures over the ones we currently have in office.