When you become a mom, you learn all about the Laws of Motherhood right away. These laws don’t make any sense, but they are fact. Maybe our kids hate us, maybe it is payback for all the trouble we gave our own mothers, or maybe we lost so many brain cells from pregnancy and lack of sleep that it’s all just in our heads. Either way the struggle is real. Here’s a list of them. I’m sure there are many, many more but I can’t remember them all because…
Where was I?
The Laws of Motherhood:
1. Your kids will be sound asleep and you can do house work as loud as you want, but as soon as you tiptoe to bed, they wake up.
2. You can beg and bribe your kids to eat their food and they won’t take a single bite, but when you sit down to eat the exact same meal, suddenly they’re starving and want some (all) of the food off your plate.
3. The one time you forget to bring your baby a change of clothes, he has the biggest blowout of his life.
4. They can sit and play nicely for a really long time, as long as you’re not trying to get anything done.
5. The one time your child gets car sick and vomits while you’re on the road is the same day you had your car detailed.
6. If your sweet toddler gets a bloody boo-boo that requires your cuddles to fix, it will be on a day that you’re wearing white.
7. Your kiddo can be doing awesome at a new milestone: walking, talking, counting, etc., until you tell someone about this new accomplishment; then it’s all over.
8. They can be polite and have great manners, until you bring them around your in-laws whom you all rarely see; then your angels disappear and they turn into greedy, disobedient monsters.
9. They won’t notice that they don’t have their favorite blanket right there with them, until you try to sneak it into the washer.
10. They see the cherry flavored Tylenol in the cupboard and beg you for some when they don’t need it, but when they’re actually sick, they won’t take any.
11. They ask for Daddy all day when you are home alone with them, but once he gets there and you have a chance to get something done or sneak away for a quick break, all they want is you.
12. Every time you make plans for a play date with that one friend that you actually really like to have play dates with, your kids get sick and you have to cancel.
13. You finally find your kiddo’s favorite meal, and when you take great care to make it just how he likes it, and even make extra so you will have it on hand for him, he feeds it to the dog.
14. You spend hours researching the perfect birthday gift for your toddler. You drive all over town searching for this must-have and can’t wait to give it to him. He then bypasses the toy and plays with the box it came in.
15. You strategically plan a long road trip during nap time so your children will sleep while you drive; they don’t fall asleep until you literally arrive at your destination.