When you think of St. Nick, chances are you imagine a fat, jolly grandpa figure with rosy cheeks and an endless supply of cheer. He shimmies down your chimney, eats all your milk and cookies, and leaves one hell of a prize package in return. What’s not to love?

How about his checkered past as a blood-thirsty psycho murderer for starters?

If you thought kids found Santa scary today, have a gander at this creepy vintage Santa collection and imagine how they felt decades ago. And then remind your kids that if they’re not good, they may find something more terrifying than coal in their stockings. *shudders*

Sweet dreams, my pretties.

Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to murder me?

All I want for Christmas is a soul that isn’t as black as your dead eyes.

Santa only shape-shifts for special boys and girls.

And this is the bag I keep all the naughty kids in.

Just one nibble off your ear, little girl.

They were all out of ‘Saw’ masks, so Santa had to improvise.

Come, sit on Lucifer’s Santa’s lap, princess.

And then Santa offered up a sacrifice to Hades.

Shhh. It’ll all be over soon.

If you’re extra good, Santa will leave his horse’s head next to yours.

It puts the lotion on its skin.

You’ll like it in Santa’s basement. I promise.

A gift for you, made from 100% real children’s hide.

And these are the gloves I wear when I’m baking children. I mean with children. When I’m baking with children.

That’s right. Just lay your head on Santa’s guillotine shoulder and let sleep take you.

If these images don’t elicit the best of behavior, I’m unsure what will.