Yay! Winter is coming! Can’t wait to force my kids into coats and beg them to wear pants instead of shorts when it’s 29 degrees outside. -no parent ever
So it’s happening, friends. The temps are dropping. This morning it was 35 degrees as we left for school. You’d think I was asking my kids to walk on hot coals while chewing glass by asking them to wear coats. And then ZIP them, too?! Oh, the horror. Why do kids refuse to admit they are cold? What sort of “cool kid badge” do they win for going out to recess in a t-shirt and coming back 20 minutes later with blue lips? I don’t understand. And teenage boys! Teenage boys will seriously trudge through snow in a pair of mesh shorts. What IS that?!
Well, here are some fellow parents griping about the battle of winter via Twitter, the Cheers pub of the internet, where we feel less alone and everyone knows our name.
Remind your kids to take a coat to school so the inside of their backpacks can be toasty warm all day while they freeze to death at recess.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) November 7, 2017
Must be freezing outside. One of the teens at the bus stop isn’t wearing shorts.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 6, 2016
“Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip up her jacket by herself.”
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) November 9, 2017
Which takes longer, watching a toddler put on gloves or snow boots? Never mind, it’s summer now.
— Zoe vs. the Universe (@zoevsuniverse) November 7, 2017
Today I decided to send my kids to school with every hat, glove, and scarf we own so they can just lose all of them at once and get it over with.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) November 9, 2017
Parents, don’t get cocky and think your morning went smoothly. Your kid’s sleeve WILL bunch up in her coat and it will all go to shit.
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) April 7, 2017
I spent 20 minutes, 20. Fucking. Minutes. Convincing my kid to wear a coat, but yeah, congrats on your pregnancy.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) October 25, 2017
Put 4’s coat on
Put 3’s shoes on
Put 4’s coat back on
Put 3’s coat on
Put 4’s shoes on
Put 3’s shoes back on
Put 4’s coat b
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 20, 2014
“SANTA DOESN’T BRING TOYS TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T WEAR PANTS!”
-things I yell during the holidays.
— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) November 22, 2016
My 5-year-old broke her jacket zipper, so I tried to fix it for her.
Long story short, she’s been stuck in her coat for four days.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 29, 2015
My dream is that just once, my child will give me the correct arm for his coat on the first try.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) January 14, 2016
It was 40 degrees this morning which added an hour to our morning routine because it takes that long for kids to zip a coat.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) October 17, 2017
So there you have it. Unless you live in southern California (and if you do, you shut your face right now), we are all in the same boat.
And by boat, I mean standing in the kitchen before school, wrestling our kids into fricking coats so they don’t get pneumonia. And by kitchen, I mean the 9th circle of 30-degree hell.
No worries, friends—it’s only like 130 days until spring!