When Your Friends Don't Have Kids...
Humor Parenting

When Your Friends Don’t Have Kids…

When Your Friends Don't Have Kids...

By Karen Johnson of The 21st Century SAHM

My husband and I have some couple-friends who do not have kids. And we have 3. And they are small and loud.

This past weekend, wonderfully kind friends of ours invited us (ALL of us) over to their kid-less house to watch some baseball on Sunday afternoon.

Here is the list of us vs. them:

Us: cul-de-sac in boring suburbs

Them: adorable house in quaint part of town within walking distance to boutique shops and sushi bars

Us: 3 kids under 5 years old

Them: 1 tiny dog

Us: kid-destroyed house with pee stains on furniture and year-old Cheerios in the couch cushions

Them: designer area rugs and imported South American artwork

So we decided to take them up on their invitation and headed over to their house with the monsters. What to bring… Well, I have broken down the list of items into the categories below.

Entertainment:

For 4-year-old son: Kindle Fire for video games and space books so he can educate us on the phases of the moon during half time

For 2-year-old daughter: All of her princesses and their dresses (that’s 6 princesses and 6 princess dresses) as well as all 4 of her Minnie Mouses and all of their dresses and accessories (each Minnie has 2 dresses, 2 bows and 1 pair of shoes = 4 Minnie Mouses, 8 dresses, 8 bows, 4 pairs of shoes)

For 8-month old: drooly toys, drooly books, and blanket to drool on.

Food:

Knowing our trendy friends will probably serve something like delicious kale-beet salad (to which my kids will make their “WTF is this??” face), we also brought:

For big kids: Sandwiches to eat in the car, as well as fruit snacks and Nutri Grain bars

For baby: Cheerios and fruit cup, baby spoon and bib

For all kids: Cups with lids. Kid-less grown ups will only own glasses (like non-plastic actual breakable glass cups in which a beverage is served). For my kids? Hell no.

Clothing and diapers:

3 pairs of extra pants and underwear for our 2-year old who is still potty training. (Please, please, please do NOT pee on their hand-woven rug made by Tibetan monks.)

Diapers and wipes for baby

Pad on which to change baby (not be changed on Tibetan monk rug)

Nap:

If we would like to stay anywhere for more than 11 minutes these days, we will need to put our 8-month old down for nap. So we also bring the Pack ‘n Play¬†and Pack ‘n Play¬†sheet. Also in this category: pacifier and back up pacifier.

Mommy’s job: prepare all of the above.

Daddy’s job: buy beer.

It was a blast, you guys.