For my birthday, I received a FitBit.  I love it. It helps me remember to stay active, it allows me to have friendly competitions with pals, and it motivates me to stay healthy.

The i.Con would do the same for my penis, if I had one.

The “smart condom” is a device from British Condom that lets men track the most important of their daily activities: “thrust velocity.”  No joke. The wearable device would allow men to see just how much force is behind each penile thrust…and it would also measure their girth!  No more pesky measuring tapes and formulas cluttering up the bed, right?

Just as my FitBit allows me to compete with friends, i.Con will let men track their performance using an app…and they can share their data with friends and…competitors?

The device can be charged using a USB that can connect to your computer. It does not come with bleach wipes, but I’m going to recommend you pick some up just in case.

British Condom claims the ring can even sense STIs, but I’m going to guess that your doctor would encourage you to, I don’t know, have a conversation with the person you’re about to thrust inside.

The i.Con is not yet on the market, but if you can’t go another minute without going nuts about your nuts, they’re accepting pre-orders in the UK. The device will retail for around $75.