I love Instagram. I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit just scrolling through filters to find the most flattering one. Still, I have more options that I’d like to suggest. I need filters that improve the quality of the pictures I take. Here are my suggested additions:
Makes you look like you’ve showered recently. It removes under eye circles, reduces eye puffiness, and adds an overall matte finish to make you look less greasy.
This one makes it look like you literally just got out of the shower. Designed to imitate a fogged mirror, you’ll barely be able to make yourself out, but your complexion will look fantastic.
No time to tweeze? No problem! This filter will fill in patches, clean up stray hairs, and make sure everything is “on point.” (Side note: I’m old, so if I used any of that incorrectly, that’s why.)
This filter assumes you were up at 5 am or earlier and will automatically replace your resting bitch face with a well-rested, not-so-bitchy face.
Crops the inevitable blurry kid (or the looking-away-from-the-camera kid) and replaces with a partial from another picture: finally creating pictures where both children look good.
Will make it look like your kids actually napped by replacing crying faces with smiling ones.
Will make it look like you don’t care that your kids didn’t nap, replacing your face with one that’s smiling and laughing.
Sure to be popular with hipster parents, this filter adds reading glasses, a bun, and an infinity scarf to everyone pictured.
My personal favorite. This filter perfectly blurs any background, so you’ll no longer have to scout out the one clean corner of your house to take pictures in.
A version of this post originally appeared on ramblinmama.com.
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