• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Sammiches & Psych Meds

Parenting, lifestyle, news commentary, and humor website.

  • Home
  • About
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
  • As Seen On
  • Buy the Books!
  • MockMom
  • News/Trending
  • SPM
    • Beauty/Fashion
    • Education
    • Entertainment
    • Health
    • Humor
    • Life
    • Meme Roundups
    • Parenting
    • Politics/Community
    • Quizzes
    • Sex and Relationships
    • Special Needs
    • Tweet Roundups
  • Work With Us
  • Write for Us
  • What’s Hot

Connect With Us!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Apparently Boner Brooches Are a Trend Now, Too

January 13, 2017 By Joanna McClanahan

By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama

Last week I wrote a piece on necklaces designed to look like vaginas. The popularity of those poon pendants may have forced an Etsy shop to temporarily shut down, but it appears as though the peen pin trend is also on the…well…rise.

Vivienne Westwood’s autumn/fall 2017 collection at the London Fashion Week Men’s Show this past week featured some ornately-bejeweled babymaker brooches:

What in the button bukake is happening here? Seriously. I’m trying to imagine a single scenario in which diamond-studded dick accessories seem like the appropriate choice.

A job interview at PornHub?

At the wedding of someone you don’t really like?

Junior Prom?

And if you like the idea of penis brooches but that’s just too much boner bling than you’re comfortable with, fret not; there are plenty of metallic members to choose from:

(Note that they’re not available in blue.)

This isn’t the first time Westwood has gotten attention for her phallic fashion. A few years ago she sent Rhianna a $442 ‘penis clutch’ with a metallic phallus on it. And last year for her autumn/fall 2016 collection in Milan, Westwood sent her models down the runway in these chub chokers:

I bet nobody saw those coming. You have to admit, it took some balls to make them.

There are some other eclectic erections available for purchase on Westwood’s website as well, including this $85 ‘Caetano Penis Single Stud‘:

According to the website, this stud “features Vivienne’s unmistakeable signature penis cast in a lustrous silver tone, with the Orb emblem finely enamelled in black across the centre.” Which sounds so much better than what it really is: a silver schlong stud with what appears to be the most uncomfortable tattoo possible on it.

I know what you’re thinking: “These are great, but what I really want is a penis accessory I can actually blow.” Well, for $325, you can have just that:

 

This Penis Whistle Key Ring is described as “a functioning whistle, hanging from a branded ring and finished with a 3D miniature Orb charm.” Except you can’t buy one because they’re currently out of stock and nothing about our world makes any fucking sense.

Either way, we don’t see these decorative dicks pulling out of the fashion scene anytime soon.

But we can’t keep the penis jokes up forever.

They’re just too hard.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Beauty/Fashion, Humor, News/Trending

FROM SITES WE LOVE

Primary Sidebar

BUY THE BOOKS!

From Sites We Love

Footer

Check the Vaults

Copyright © 2021 SPM Writing and Consulting, LLC · All Rights Reserved · Don't steal our stuff. We'll find you, and it'll hurt. We're not even kidding. Also, some posts may contain affiliate links, meaning we'll make fractions of pennies if you buy anything from them. Ballin'! See site Disclaimer in the About section for additional details. · Log in