By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama

My family had the stomach flu this week, and the worst part was being stuck at home with plenty of time to stay informed regarding Trump’s first week in office:

Day 1

Trump was sworn in as President and gave a bizarre, nationalistic speech (which Trump originally claimed to have written himself, but the White House later admitted was written by Stephen Miller and Steve Bannon).

And the inauguration crowds weren’t quite what Trump expected they would be. Although, to be fair, some of that white space in the middle could’ve been filled with people dressed in sheets? Just a theory.

Day 2

Trump tweeted that he was “honered” to serve as President (a tweet he later deleted and replaced), proving that anyone can grow up to be President, regardless of education or ability to use spell check:

He then went on to give a bizarre speech at the CIA, where he blamed the media for painting him as anti-intelligence and also mentioned, in passing, that we should have stolen Iraq’s oil (just a violation of international law, no biggie). Oh, and he brought his own cheering squad along with him. To the CIA.

Over 3 million women (and men) participated in the Women’s Rights March, so Trump said there’s still work to be done healing the deep divisions in our country. JUST KIDDING! What he actually did was call his first press conference just to chastise the media for having correctly reported the numbers of his inauguration the day before. Press Secretary Sean Spicer then falsely claimed Trump had the “largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period.”

Day 3

Sunday’s Meet the Press included a strange exchange between host Chuck Todd and White House cryptkeeper Kellyanne Conway, where she defended Spicer’s press conference from the day before, coining the Orwellian phrase “alternative facts” and prompting this response from the Merriam-Webster Twitter account:

📈A fact is a piece of information presented as having objective reality. https://t.co/gCKRZZm23c

— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) January 22, 2017

Day 4

Trump completed five executive actions on his first full weekday in office: The first was a rollback on the Affordable Care Act, allowing all agency heads to waive requirements of the ACA (aka “Obamacare”) to the “maximum extent permitted by law.”

The second was a regulation freeze, meaning any regulation signed by Obama in his final weeks in office, including some that deal with energy efficiency standards, are on hold until they’re reviewed by the Trump administration.

The third was to withdraw the United States from the Trans Pacific Partnership, or TPP, which was designed to permanently tie the US to East Asia, creating an economic stockade against a rising China. So this is good news…for China.

Fourth, he instituted a federal government employee hiring freeze (which could make our government overly reliant on independent contractors, who often cost taxpayers more money).

Fifth, he reinstated the “Mexico City Policy” (aka the “Global Gag Rule”), which blocks any U.S. aid to international groups who give family planning advice that include even mentioning abortions. Aid groups estimate this policy will result in more unsafe abortions worldwide.

Day 5

Trump signed five more executive actions. The first required the Secretary of Commerce to come up with a plan to mandate American-made steel for new, expanded, or retrofitted pipelines in the U.S. The second was for all federal agencies to review manufacturing regulations. The third fast-tracks approval for “high-priority infrastructure projects.” What kind of infrastructure projects? Funny you should ask…

The fourth expedites the Keystone XL Pipeline, a proposed cross-border pipeline from Alberta, Canada. The fifth directed the Secretary of the Army to “review and approve in an expedited manner” the Dakota Access Pipeline, another pipeline from North Dakota to Illinois that has been protested by Native American groups and environmentalists.

(Important note: Trump once owned stock in Energy Transfer Partners, the company building the Keystone pipeline, and the sale of his shares has not been confirmed.)

Other Day 5 highlights:

• Trump said James Comey is to remain head of the FBI. (SHOCKER.)
• Sean Spicer defended claim held by Trump that millions voted illegally. (There is zero proof of this.)
• EPA ordered to freeze grants.
• Multiple federal agencies ordered not to speak to press.

It’s worth mentioning that the Republicans have a congressional majority and Trump is still choosing to sidestep their approval/oversight through executive actions. (In case you’re curious, Obama averaged 35 executive orders per year in office.)

Day 6

Trump signed more executive actions, which ordered the construction of a U.S.-Mexico border wall and increased resources for Border Patrol. The orders also call for withholding federal grant funding for “sanctuary cities” and for a newly expanded force to deport immigrants.

Other Day 6 highlights:

• Trump promised major investigation into “voter fraud.”
• He also mandated any scientific EPA studies be reviewed by White House prior to release.
• A draft executive order obtained by the New York Times explains Trump’s plan to “indefinitely block Syrian refugees from entering the U.S. and bar all refugees from the rest of the world for at least 120 days.”
• It was confirmed that White House staff have private RNC email accounts.
• Trump gave bizarre first TV interview, in which he claimed “torture works.” (Torture is definitely illegal under international law.)

Day 7

• Trump proposed 20% import tax on Mexican imports to pay for border wall. (Staff later walked back claim.)
• Chief of Staff Steve Bannon referred to media as “opposition party” and said they should “keep their mouths shut.”
• Trump still using his unsecured cellphone.
• Six journalists, who were arrested covering inaugural protests, charged with felonies.
• Trump pressured Park Service to find proof for his claims about inauguration crowd.

This doesn’t even cover all the things that happened this week. This is just the worst of the worst. Oh, AND TRUMP HASN’T CUT TIES WITH HIS BUSINESS YET, EITHER.

Now you know why I’d rather clean up puke than be an informed citizen these days. God help us.