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Zima Is Back So You Can Relive The Bad Decisions Of Your Youth

Source: Facebook

Do you long for a time when Bill Clinton was president and Kurt Cobain was still alive? Do you have a pair of Doc Martens languishing in the back of your closet? Do you sit in Starbucks, banging away at your laptop, nostalgic for the indie coffee shop where you chain-smoked Marlboro Lights and listened to Tori Amos?

What if I told you there was a magical beverage that could melt away your 2017 worries and transport you back to the Halcyon days of the 1990s with just one sip?

That’s right folks: Zima is back.

According to MillerCoors, Zima debuted in 1994, but I can definitively tell you that it actually hit the shelves in 1993. I know this because I spent a good portion of my senior year of high school drinking Zima and making bad decisions.

The author (right) drinking Zima with a friend circa 1993.

Zima, whose tagline was “Zomething different,” was the perfect beverage for the underage Gen-Xer who hadn’t yet acquired a taste for beer or wine. Its flavor was a cross between stale lemon-lime soda and regret.

The last time I drank a Zima, life was different:

If you wanted to make a booty call from the bar at 1am, you had to put 35 cents in the lobby pay phone

We had to pay for music

Our president was about to be impeached for getting a BJ in the oval office

I had no idea what I was doing with my life

(Okay, life was mostly different.)

If you want to relive those tender days of young adulthood, you better move fast. Zima is only here until the end of summer.