Many families have their own customs and traditions when it comes to marriage. Sometimes a family wants the new bride to wear a specific heirloom, or maybe to have a luncheon with all the women of the clan, but in one incredibly “YOU IN DANGER, GIRL” Reddit thread, a woman was asked to – get this – let her fiance’s father CHECK HER HYMEN.

In a thread that was posted to r/relationship_advice on Reddit, user u/FarReference3 told the story of how her husband-to-be dropped this bomb on her 2 days before the wedding. She and her fiance were both virgins; however, apparently her father-in-law wanted to check if she was “intact” before the wedding by performing a small ceremony where he would examine her hymen.

Oh, yeah, and this would be in front of her fiance and some other men in the family, too. Seems legit.

My (22f) fiance (25m) want his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married. from relationship_advice

Obviously this whole thing raised a number of massive red flags for the woman, who took to the internet looking for advice on what exactly to do. According to her, she and her fiancee were well suited to each other and she was looking forward to getting married, but this whole scenario is obviously bananas.

Commenters on the original thread were understandably alarmed for this woman, many of them advising her to run as far as she can, ASAP.

According to one commenter:

“He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him “

He told, in all sincerity, that showing your genitals to his father, uncles, and brother, is the same as you showing your love for him?

Who gives a fuck what his mom did to get married X years ago? He can go marry his mom if he wants someone who is comfortable with this strange tradition.

Or, he can offer to show his taint to all of your mom, aunt, sister, etc. Its only “slightly embarrassing”, right?

In all honesty this sounds borderline cult-ish. If you really wanna marry this man you should not allow him to push you into something you are uncomfortable with, it would be a very bad start to the marriage. You’re 22 and inexperienced sexually so from that information there’s a chance this will be your first experience showing your genitals to someone who is not a medical professional. Do you really want those people to be all your fiance’s immediate male family members?”

While another stated:

“Right?? She should make him go to his very own ballsack viewing by all of her female family members and they all get a chance to grope him.

This is a disgusting tradition and is sexual assault. I can’t believe someone would ask a woman they love to do this.

This isn’t love, OP. There are plenty of men or women who would never make you do something like this to prove anything and would in fact protect you from something so vile. Run fast, girl.”

Another commenter simply put:

“🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 It is not “only one thing”. It is just the start. 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩”

Other commenters brought up good points about how this is incredibly oppressive toward women in general, and questioned whether if she were to have a daughter, how safe would she be in a family that treats women like this.

After the original post racked up tons of comments of people genuinely worried for her future, with a general overall feeling of what-the-fuckery, the original Reddit user made an update post.

Apparently, she put her foot down, and her fiance did not react well. He ended up slapping her and accusing her of lying about her virginity. Luckily, she did the right thing by leaving and ending the relationship.

[UPDATE]: My (22f) fiance (25m) want his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married. from relationship_advice