Wintertown, Minnesota–A hair raising tale has made a local man fear that his wife has been finding love outside their home.
A local woman by the name of Robyn was found at hot yoga yesterday with cleanly shaven legs. Patrons looked at her left hand and discovered that she was, in fact, married. The Ohms turned to Oh-My-Gods when the woman went into Warrior II and it was apparent that her underarms were cleanly shaven, too.
One brazen woman, Tracey, was on the scene and relayed this account: “I saw that she had shaved recently and thought maybe she had been on holiday with her husband,” she stated. “My friends encouraged me to ask her if she had been away, so I did. She said she hadn’t, and then I didn’t know what to say to her. I can’t believe she would just say that to me. She didn’t even try to deny it.”
Tracey was unavailable for further comment. She was seen huddling with her friends afterwards and drinking chai lattes to heal the pain.
“I was notified by Tina from the yoga studio of the events of today, and I am still in shock,” claimed Charlie, Robyn’s unsuspecting husband of over 20 years.
“I thought we were good. She didn’t even think about the kids,” he continued. He was unable to proceed with the interview and was being consoled by his mother and siblings when he went back into the house. He did tell us that he had organized the children to go to friends’ houses after school until he could contact a grief counselor.
“This Robyn woman has done this before,” Tina confided. “We asked her to stay at the back of the room the last time this happened as to not upset our clientele,” Tina continued. “This time when she entered, I was not at the desk and feel terrible for those affected by the events of today.”
A full apology is forthcoming from the yoga studio to its patrons this week. Robyn has been asked to hang up her yoga mat once she puts on long pants and a long sleeve shirt. Further action, including asking her to stay away until summer, is under consideration.
When Robyn was contacted for comment, she denied any wrongdoing.
“I don’t understand what the big deal is,” she began. “I like the look of clean skin, and I can properly moisturize that way.”
When her comments reached Tracey and her friends, Tracey had to be revived with a pumpkin scone.
Charlie has hired a private investigator to follow Robyn and find out why she has taken such a drastic step after a seemingly wonderful 20 years of marriage. So far the PI has found her at the grocery store, the dry cleaners, and at Starbucks where she appeared to be on Facebook.
The suspicious activity continues. For now, this reporter’s thoughts and prayers are with Charlie and his family in their time of crisis.
About the Author
Kristine Laco shares her stories at MumRevised.com with a splash of sarcasm and a pinch of bitch. She lives in the Toronto area and is a stay-at-home mother of two kids aged 14 and 12 and a fur-baby. Her middle finger is her favorite. You can find more from her on Facebook and Twitter.