A woman in Ireland has made waves after marrying her so-called “spiritual soul mate,” the ghost of 300-year-old pirate, Jack Teague.

Amanda Teague, 45, claims that her love affair with Jack began one night as she was lying in bed and she could feel his energy beside her. Soon after, she began developing strong feelings for the spirit.

The mother of five had tried traditional marriage to a “physical being” before, but that ended in divorce. So rather than going on Tinder or Bumble like a standard divorcee, she followed her heart and fell in love with the ghost of Jack Teague. The couple married in international waters, since the UK and Ireland do not recognize posthumous marriages. The couple honeymooned in Northern Ireland, and, you guessed it, they had sex.

Welp.

The first comment I can make about this “union” is that I had to hold back from putting “quotes” on every other word, because, honest to God, this is actually a true story. Amanda Teague claims that after doing research, she found that there were a number of people in spiritual relationships. Mrs Teague works as, GET THIS, a Jack Sparrow impersonator, and credits her relationship to her initial interest in the pirate world through her work. She’s been making the rounds on the Irish TV circuit for her, ahem, unusual union.

Okie dokie.

I don’t mean to come across as condescending, but I don’t believe in ghosts. The idea that invisible beings are somehow monitoring our every moves and predicting our thoughts? Well, that role is reserved for Alexa and Siri.

And it seems I’m not the only one skeptical of her “marriage.” Here’s a smattering of Facebook comments from the story she shared with Ireland AM today:

Can’t believe that with everything that’s going on in the country you’ve given airtime to this media attention seeking woman. And as to the person who “married ” them what a pure insult to the supposed holy institute of marriage!!! I’m disgusted!!!

I have no words!! Suppose he won’t answer her back! 🤣🤣How would she explain it when she goes for a loan or mortgage? “My husband is a 300 year old ghost!”

Choked on my cornflakes..
….don’t know how Ciara and Mark kept a straight face…I’m all for live and let live…but!!! Still scratching my head!!

Imagine that honeymoon 😂😂 rocking up to airline flight booked for two and your thinking yes and where is your husband oh he’s a 300 year old ghost well my first thing to say is oh is he you don’t need a booking for him so he’s grand 😕then the hotel we have a room booked for two we’re on our honeymoon. They”ll be some confusion then 😂😂😂 honestly anywhere she goes you’d love to hear peoples reactions haha all kinds of crazy this one is.

She’s already getting the silent treatment.

I think I’ll get one, I will never have to pick socks of the floor ever again, lol.

Teague did, however, find some support as well:

There is little enough happiness in the world these days, If this makes this lady happy, what is the harm, each to their own, who are we to contradict, love comes in many forms.

• My Booty Call
• How He Hooked Me
• I Only Have Eye (Patches) For You
• He Shivers Me Timbers
• Swashbuckler Sex
• Unholy Matrimony
• Sure My Husband is a Thieving Zombie Felon, But it’s, Like, in Fashion Now Because of Jerry Bruckheimer
• He’s Just Not That Into You, Or Maybe He is and You Just Can’t See Him Because He’s a Mother-Fucking Ghost

Well, me hearties, just when you think you’ve seen it all, a “newlywed” delves into realms unseen.

I can’t even. And according to Amanda Teague’s reception photo, a couple of side-eyeing bridesmaids can’t either.