MockMom

Woman Claiming ‘Having a Dog Isn’t the Same as Having Kids’ Accused of Straight-Up Hating Pets

By Kate Cartia of AsKateWouldHaveIt

Dallas, TX – Amber Lee Collins, a North Texas mother-of-two, rocked a neighborhood BBQ two weeks ago with the controversial argument that “having a dog is not the same as having kids.”

Today, the divided community begins to heal. Collins, 36, was quoted in a Facebook neighborhood group saying, “It has nothing to do with me not liking dogs. I HAVE a dog, you guys. It’s just that my kids are more important, and raising them can’t compare to owning a pet. It’s just…seriously, you all don’t really believe it’s the same, do you?”

Mackenzie Jordan, a fellow resident of the neighborhood, BBQ witness, and non-parent, agreed to sit down with us. “I’m just glad Amber Lee finally admitted to hating pets,” Jordan said, after letting her pug, Samson, outside to quietly and independently relieve himself. “No one in their right mind would say a dog owner doesn’t know exactly what it’s like to be a parent.”

We caught up with the host of the disastrous BBQ who has never raised a child, Grant Aberdeen, outside of his home as he returned from a 48-hour business trip that he was easily able to take due to his two cats (names withheld) not caring at all that he was away.

“I was shocked Amber could say something so outrageous and hurtful and then just leave right after,” Mr. Aberdeen confides. “Something about having to be home in time to pay the babysitter. It was incredibly rude. I do appreciate her owning her mistake and obvious disdain for animals.”

After standing in shocked silence when asked about the incident, another neighborhood parent, Jacqueline Popper, said simply, “I can’t believe I even need to say I agree with her. This fucking neighborhood, I swear to God…” before shutting the door.

As for Amber Lee Collins, she continues to dodge us, using excuses about school drop-offs, homework, laundry, cooking meals, and “raising my kids — my God, what is wrong with you people?”

*****

About the Author

Kate Cartia lives in Dallas, TX with her son and dog. She’s a work-at-home mom, is always the first to sign up to bring paper plates to school functions, and openly has no real idea how to do this parenting thing. She can be found on Facebook, Instagram @askatewouldhaveit, and Twitter @katewouldhaveit.