Being a working mom isn't easy. Many people criticize it. But here is why working full time makes me a BETTER mom, actually.
Life Parenting SPM/MM

Why Working Full Time Makes Me a Better Mom

Being a working mom isn't easy. Many people criticize it. But here is why working full time makes me a BETTER mom, actually.

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.

I’m a mother and I have a full-time job, not because I have to, but because I want to.

Gasp. How dare I, right? How dare I choose my own selfish needs over spending all day with my kids? How dare I choose to be a mom when all I do is send them off to daycare to be raised by someone else?

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I know that’s what some of you are thinking.

That’s why, for so long, I’ve found myself silently sitting by when I’ve heard co-workers complain about work. Sometimes, I even join the complaining, pretending I don’t want to be there either when I really actually do. There are so many mothers out there who don’t want to work but have to, and I really feel sad for them. There are so many mothers out there who relish their decision to stay home, and I really feel happy for them.

But there are also a few of us who relish our decision not to stay home, who find happiness because we do work.

Who are you to judge us for that?

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I’m tired of being made to feel guilty about it. I love my job. I love the self-confidence it creates in me. I love the intellectual challenges it provides. I love the feeling that I am making a difference. I love that I don’t have to completely lose who I once was to become a mom.

Don’t get me wrong. I adore my children. When I am home, I am with them, body and spirit. Because we have less time together, I try my best to make the most of it. I still do “mom stuff.” We play board games and Legos, we color and bake, we go for bike rides and walks, we read books every night. I still take my kids on play dates, and I attend school events when I can.

In short, I am no less of a mother because I cannot do these things 24/7. In fact, being a working mom provides some of its own unique perks.

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Because I work, I get to experience the joy of being missed by my children, getting embraced daily by enormous bear hugs.

Because I work, I get to experience a daily pang of heartache that refreshingly reminds me how much I love my children, and how much I cannot wait to see them.

Does working full-time while raising a family complicate life? Absolutely. This is my reality though. Working makes me happy and being a mother makes me happy, so I find ways to juggle the chaos.

I recognize some of you don’t need to work to find fulfillment. Being with your children is enough. I applaud you for that. To be perfectly honest, I’m even a little jealous because it’s not enough for me.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t make me selfish. It makes me honest.

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Working full-time does not make me a better mom than you. It makes me a better mom than the mom I would be if I chose to stay home. I know myself. If I were a stay-at-home mom, I would start to resent my decisions, and ultimately, my children. They deserve better than that.

This is why working makes me a better me. I know my children accept this about their mommy.

It’s time the rest of society did too.