By Natasha Daniels of Anxious Toddlers
Why is it that when we are youthful, we think we know everything? Wouldn’t it be cool if we could go into a time machine and connect with our younger self? I often day dream about this dialogue. What would a 40-year-old say to a 20-year-old? What little gems of knowledge would we bestow on our young, naïve selves? Here are the most important nuggets I would be sure to mention:
1. Love your body. It is going to get a lot worse. I mean, a lot worse. Enjoy those cute thighs with those tiny, microscopic cellulite dimples you keep obsessing about. That, my friend, will be the least of your concerns. I will just say one word: stomach. Love it. I know you think that flat stomach will be your compadre for life, but it ain’t so.
2. Tattoos. They last forever. I know, I know – you will do what you want. But if and when you see a tattoo artist that seems a bit inebriated when you sit down, don’t be polite and let him ink you anyway. You will save years of humiliation and a fortune on large, square Band-Aids.
3. Don’t rush into marriage. If you are having bumps now, they will be mountains later. Never settle for someone you will have to live with for an eternity. That is a very long time. Save your heart and you won’t have to save your money on a good divorce lawyer later.
4. High-heeled shoes. Don’t. Just don’t. Trust me. The 2 inches that you think make such a difference, don’t. You are still short. Deal with it.
5. Sleep. Sleep late; sleep long. Sleep all the time — because for the next twenty years, you will not know what that experience feels like. Your sleep cycle will be controlled by little dictators who will find it entertaining to wake you up before dawn. They will never, ever let you take a nap, and they will wait until you reach the joys of REM sleep to scream your name.
6. Eat everything in sight. You, my young lady, have a wonderful metabolism. Enjoy that double fudge brownie. Have ice cream after every meal! There will come a time when your metabolism will come to a screeching halt. You will just glance at some cake and you’ll gain fifty pounds. Who, me? you think. I am so skinny. Yeah, not forever girl.
7. Stop caring so much about what other people think. No one cares about how you look or what you did or didn’t say. Save yourself the self-conscious grief and don’t give a damn now. You won’t give a damn when you’re forty. I promise.
8. Stop partying so hard. Do you want to remember college? Early dementia isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
9. Spare yourself the embarrassing fads. I know you think purple hair and doc martins are cool looking. But you look like an eggplant with combat boots. It will be a source of many jokes with your second husband (yes, second husband – read warning #3).
10. Destroy all evidence of this time in your life. Stop taking so many freakin’ pictures and video. Stop journaling about your angst over your favorite band and your love life. You will sheepishly put it in a trash bag years later – and walk it to the dumpster to ensure its proper disposal.
Did I miss something? What would you tell your young self? The sad thing is, I know exactly what my young, know-it-all 20-year-old self would say. She would dismiss me curtly and would think, “What does she know?!”
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About Natasha Daniels
Natasha Daniels is a child therapist who finds the joy and humor in all things toddler. She is the author of How to Parent your Anxious Toddler and the creator of AnxiousToddlers.com. She has three crazy children at home that make her laugh, love and hide. When she is not working in her private practice, she is hiding in her closet trying to give advice to other moms on her website Anxious Toddlers. She can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.