Here's a helpful guide to make washing dishes suck less. Ha! Just kidding. Don't follow these steps.
Humor Parenting

Washing the Dishes: A Step-by-Step Guide for Moms

Here's a helpful guide to make washing dishes suck less. Ha! Just kidding. Don't follow these steps.

By Sarah Jean of The Mom TruthBomb

If you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed that every time you peruse Facebook or Pinterest, you get bombarded with links about “Life Hacks” and “Parenting Hacks” and “How to do (Blank) in (Blank) Easy Steps!” While some of them prove to be helpful, many of them aren’t always quite realistic. I generally like to think of myself as efficient and organized,* so I thought I would throw my hat into the ring and offer up a helpful and realistic guide for other moms to use when it comes to cleaning the house.

Every mom knows that keeping a house clean with children running around is no small feat. Out of all the things I have to do to keep my house clean, washing the dishes is one of my least favorite. Next to laundry, of course. And sweeping, and cleaning the bathroom, and vacuuming. And we can’t forget dusting. Ugh, dusting is the WORST!

Anyway, today we will be focusing on washing the dishes. I have devised a simple, easy to follow, 20-step guide to emptying that sink each and every day. So what are you waiting for? Let’s get washing!

1. Get hot water running and a soapy sponge.

2. Rinse dishes to go into dishwasher.

3. Open dishwasher and see that it is full of clean dishes.

4. Curse yourself for not emptying it sooner.

5. Empty dishwasher.

6. Fill dishwasher with new dirty dishes.

7. Hand-wash all remaining items that can’t go in dishwasher.

8. Let out a sigh of relief when done.

9. Turn around and see pots and pans on stove.

10. Curse yourself for forgetting about them again.

11. Put dirty pots and pans in sink and fill with hot, soapy water.

12. Let pots and pans soak while you help kids finish their homework, put in a load of laundry, get kids ready for bed, etc.

13. Forget about pots and pans. Go to bed.

14. Wake up to find pots and pans in sink.

15. Curse yourself.

16. Dump out now cold water from pots and pans and refill with hot, soapy water.

17. Pile breakfast, lunch, & snack dishes on top of soaking pots and pans throughout the day.

18. In the evening, realize that you need the pots and pans in the sink to prepare dinner.

19. Dig out pots and pans from beneath dirty dishes; scrub, dry, and use them to make dinner.

20. Repeat steps 1 – 19.

So there you have it. An easy to follow, step-by-step guide** for tackling those pesky dishes! Happy washing!

*To some, I may seem rather INefficient and DISorganized, but what do they know, anyway!

**Do NOT follow this guide. It will make your life absolutely miserable. My real guide for keeping your sink empty is to order take-out and only use paper plates for the rest of your life. But since neither of these are sustainable solutions, my advice to you is don’t be lazy like I am and just wash the damn dishes!

(A version of this post was originally published on The Mom TruthBomb.)


About the Author

Sarah Jean is a mother of two wonderful children, which she finds unbelievably rewarding, except for all the times it makes her want to scream, rip her hair out, and sob uncontrollably. She writes about it to make herself laugh. Read more at The Mom TruthBomb and follow Sarah on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.