You may not be able to live out your rock star fantasy, but you can have your butt bitten like one. That’s right. Bite massage is a thing and it has an A-list following. Deep tissue, Sports, Relaxation, Swedish, Aromatherapy, Hot stone, and Shiatsu massages? They’re for the common folk.
Dorothy Stein, dubbed “Dr. Dot” by music legend Frank Zappa, has sunk her teeth into an impressive number of big name backsides, including Kayne West, Simon Cowell, Steven Tyler, Adam Levine, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Rihanna. Her website, drdot.com, lists over 500 satisfied celebrity clients, including testimonials from some of them.
“Dr. Dot gives the best massage in the world.” – Sting
“If I could, I would have you massage me every day, all day. You rock!” – Courtney Love
“A really great massage!” – Bruce Willis
“Bite me again, Dr. Dot.” -Bella B of Die Ärzte
“That was HOT!” – Paris Hilton
Stein tells Architectural Digest, “Ninety-five percent of the people I massage want to try it. Once they have it, they want it every time.”
I’ve got to say, while I often have specific requests for my massage therapist, “Bite me” is not one of them. But maybe it should be?
What exactly is a bite massage? You guessed it. Stein bites her clients. Yes. With her teeth. On the back, shoulders, glutes and neck. She claims that she has “never broken the skin, never left a tooth mark.” And the nibbling only lasts a few minutes. “It’s like an appetizer at a meal. You start out with the bite to tenderize the back. There’s no other feeling in the world like it.” The main course then consists of a more traditional deep-tissue massage. And don’t be fooled into thinking that you’ll be getting dessert. Stein clearly states on her website that “any requests for ‘Happy Endings’ will only lead to a very ‘Unhappy ENDING!'”
Stein started biting at the age of 5 at the encouragement of her mother. (I’m starting to question every parenting rule I’ve ever enforced).
In an interview with wrestler Elena Pogosyan, Stein says of her mother, “She wanted me to massage her but my hands weren’t strong enough, so she just kept on saying, ‘Bite me! Bite me!’ So I’ve been doing this my whole life!”
By the time Stein was 15 she wanted what all teenagers want — to get into music concerts for free. She turned to what she knew best. Biting. She offered free massages to the musicians for tickets. Her first backstage client? Phil Collen of Def Leppard. She eventually went on to bite her way into more than 3,000 concerts, including the Rolling Stones and The Grateful Dead.
Now, over 30 years later, she is a professionally trained masseuse based in Hoboken, New Jersey. Her bite massage technique has even been trademarked. Yup. If you want a bite massage you’ll have to call up Dr. Dot and fork over the $150 – $300 fee she charges to sink her teeth into your booty (and according to a disclaimer on her website, you will also need to be a close friend.) Huh. Paying to have someone bite you. Or you could just go find yourself a toddler and they’ll bite you for free.
Not sure about having someone tenderize your tush? She also has an army of over 1,000 Dot Bots worldwide who provide massages anytime, anywhere. Other services her company, Dr.Dot’s International Massage + Chiropractic Team, provide include: baby massage, fitness training, pet massage, make-overs, nutrition advice, and relationship counseling.
I’m starting to think that life as a celebrity might not be my thing. Bite massages, Mugworth V-steams, eating clay…yeah. Thanks, but no thanks. As for the biting? I’ll leave it to Dr. Dot, Dracula, and the Walking Dead.