Bored and looking to dick off on the World Wide Web on the internet’s dumbest game show? *automated audience clapping and cheering* Well, folks, then you’re in the right place! Get ready, because we’re gonna play 4-Year-Old-Boy or 84-Year-Old-White-Dude!
Go through and try to guess whether I’m describing a 4yo, or someone’s full-grown PawPaw:
- Leaves the toilet seat up despite constant nagging.
- Sleeps shirtless. Appears in the yard shirtless. Goes to the beach shirtless. Would be shirtless more if a woman didn’t stop him.
- Shows off his “muscles” without being asked. Often while shirtless.
- Expects a woman to bring him food and clean up after him.
- Falls asleep in his favorite chair with his hand down his pants.
- Prefers classic rock sung by men.
- Thinks pretty much all females are stupid.
- Tells long elaborate stories with lots of people that you’ve never heard of that have no point but do have gun violence.
- Regularly pees on the floor.
- Would rather sit and watch TV then go outside even though it’s a nice day.
- Wears his pants over his belly button.
- Thinks ice cream is just great.
- 0% sexually attractive 65% super cute. 35% weird smells.
- Will ask a stranger a question that anyone else would think is perhaps a little racially insensitive.
- Skid marks.
- Knows the make and model of your car.
- Only ever the protagonist in a children’s movie.
- Should not be swearing in public yet here we are.
- Is too old to be acting like this in a grocery store.
- Crocs with socks.
Okay. Think you guessed these right? It’s time to find out! Check the answers below and see how you fared!
1-20: 4-year-old boy
1-20: 84-year-old white guy
Let us know how you did in the comment section on Facebook!
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About the Author
Laura Wheatman Hill lives in Portland, Oregon with her two children. She blogs about parenting, writes about everything, and teaches English and drama when not living in an apocalyptic dystopia. Her work has appeared on JSTOR Daily, the Submittable blog, Slackjaw, and others. You can find her at https://www.laurawheatmanhill.com/