By Anna Gracia of TheSnarkyReviewer.com
“I’m sorry to hear your child won’t eat his vegetables. Have you tried putting them into a smoothie yet?”
“You’ve tried roasting, steaming, baking, and turning every imaginable vegetable into a fry. You’ve even succumb to topping them with copious amounts of melted cheese like you remember seeing in ’90s Velveeta ads. But have you tried putting them into a smoothie?”
“Sure, you could always hide them in sauces or try and convince your kids that cauliflower mac-n-cheese tastes just like the real thing! You could buy cookbooks that teach you how to bury a teaspoon of spinach in a pan full of brownies because every little bit counts, right? But have you tried putting them into a smoothie?”
“Of course it’s best to try and get kids to eat vegetables raw, even if they’re slathered in ranch dressing. What kid wouldn’t be fooled into eating giant bites of raw red pepper with just a little tangy, runny, mayonnaise-based sauce? Who among us doesn’t love the texture of dry, raw broccoli? But have you considered putting them into a smoothie?”
“Smoothies are the solution to every vegetable problem. Every child loves smoothies. Never mind the bright green color every vegetable smoothie seems to take on. If it comes in a cup with a straw, he will forget all about his penchant for throwing his plate on the ground if it comes into incidental contact with spinach!”
“Don’t worry about the gritty, dirt-like flavor of beets; kids won’t notice it at all if it’s mixed with a tablespoon of apple juice! Smoothies will make every child gobble down kale and rutabaga like a hungry vegan.”
“Thirsty child? Give her a sip of smoothie! Hungry kindergartener in need of an after-school snack? Offer him a delicious smoothie! After-dinner dessert? Another smoothie! Picky eater who frequently skips meals? Replace them with smoothies! No matter what, your kid is going to be fed a steady diet of vegetables, come hell or high water.”
“Everyone knows getting small children to eat vegetables is one of the most important jobs as a parent. Lord only knows what will happen to them if they don’t eat the suggested five servings per day, every single day. Why not make life easier on yourself by putting those vegetables into a tasty smoothie?”
*****
About the Author
Anna Gracia is a writer in San Francisco. She is working on a hilariously blunt novel about an Asian-American girl going through young adulthood. You can read her thoughts about recent movies on her blog, TheSnarkyReviewer.com, or follow her political rants on Twitter (@hapasareasian).