By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama
If you’re anything like me, a vagina necklace would be the gift you never knew you never wanted.
Then you may also be surprised to hear that a lot of people are buying them. In fact, these vagina pendants are so popular, their creator had to suspend her Etsy page to catch up with demand.
Emily Fitzgerald started making ‘yoni’ (Sanskrit for female genitalia) pendants through her Etsy shop page, Moonflower Creations, and within days was so inundated with customers that she had to temporarily shut it down. (Side note: If her business slogan isn’t “Yonis before bronis,” that seems like a missed opportunity.)
Fitzgerald is said to be revamping her shop and is expected to go live again next week. In the meantime, let’s take a look at some of her poon pendants:
I’m no doctor, but I think the middle one should probably get itself checked out. Either that or someone needs to tell her that’s not how you chew bubble gum.
These “galactic yonis” are also available. Because that’s what I want associated with my vagina: the vastness of space.
These mini muffins are so cute they almost look like peas in a pod. Until you remember that it’s not a pea, it’s a clitoris, and then everything feels weird again.
If you want a necklace that says, “Please don’t hit on me, sir, I could not be any gayer,” then we’ve got you covered, fam.
What the Eye of Sauron has to do with a vagina, I’m not sure, but these cannot be unseen, and for that I am truly sorry.
“Dammit, Jim, this is literally the opposite of what I meant when I told you I wanted a pearl necklace.”
*****
About the Author
Joanna McClanahan is an Editor at Mock Mom. She’s also a Contributor at Sammiches & Psych Meds and has been published on Scary Mommy. You can find more from her on RamblinMama.com, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.