Unless you live under a rock, you know that on August 21st, America will experience its first total solar eclipse since 1979.
If you think that’s awesome, get this: Royal Caribbean will have a special “total eclipse” themed cruise, with the boat positioned in an optimal viewing spot.
And turn around, bright eyes, because there’s more!
What better way to ring in this once-in-a-lifetime moment than with singer Bonnie Tyler performing her hit song “Total Eclipse of the Heart”? That’s right, she’ll be singing the shit out of her one-hit-wonder while at sea as part of Royal Caribbean’s festivities.
Earlier this year, Tyler told Inside Edition that YouTube views of her music video have skyrocketed in anticipation of the eclipse. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she wrote a kick-ass song. I mean, who can argue with the flamboyant perfection of those lyrics?
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
‘Cause we’ll never be wrong together
Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart
Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart
You’re singing it right now, aren’t you?
I don’t blame you. Hell, I’ve been singing it since news of the eclipse broke a few months ago. If belting out 1980s love ballads in my car is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
My only regret is that I can’t be on that cruise liner. It’ll just be me, a bad cover of Bonnie Tyler, and a huge sky rock casting a shadow on my tone-deaf little heart. After which I’ll dramatically croon:
Once upon a time there was light in my life, now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.
Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.
Go on with your bad self, Bonnie Tyler. The moon may be blocking the sun on August 21st, but it can’t cast on shadow on you, the real star.