By MockMom

This week, President Trump announced his intention to use an executive order to end “birthright citizenship.” While making a point to abolish the citizenship the 14th Amendment is designed to protect, Trump has decided to use his power to repeal all remaining constitutional amendments except for the 2nd.

“Look, the people who wrote this document lived a very long time ago. It’s very old. Tremendously old, okay?” said Trump, who appeared to have forgotten his own point.

“Apparently the Constitution also says we have to have a two-thirds majority in Congress to make any changes to it. But that’s never gonna happen, so we’ll just take that part out, too,” Trump half-smiled, in a way that probably opened a gateway to hell somewhere.

“But luckily our country’s founders got one thing right: That every citizen should have access to semi-automatic assault rifles,” he added.

When Trump was then reminded that semi-automatic weapons didn’t exist in the 1700s, he became increasingly agitated and insisted that was a lie orchestrated by George Soros and the “lamestream” media.

“My point is that Russia, I mean, the NRA, I mean, I am not going to let anyone take away our citizens’ right to kill one another. But the rest of this has got to go,” he said, accidentally setting The Declaration of Independence on fire.