If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’re familiar with these two rising stars in the conservative ranks. Sarah Cooper is so dedicated to the musings of noted genius, Donald J. Trump, that she has committed to memory every single word, both real AND fictional, he’s ever bestowed upon our ears. Her counterpart, Brent Terhune, is a perfect 10 (I bet he’s swimming in dusty GOP tuna) and truly represents the people.
Too long have we sat by, watching Fox News, or OAN, or whatever 24-hour news show is fluffing Donnie at the moment, and had to abide the Tucker Carlsons and the Sean Hannitys of the world. It’s like getting 100% factual news, but from that uncle who said you were “developing nicely.” Finally, I can get my MAGA on while listening to people who are either non-threatening or exactly like me.
Sarah has been making beautiful dedication videos like this:
How to person woman man camera tv pic.twitter.com/rcQC4sxmLX
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) July 24, 2020
I mean, WOW! Not only did she capture the linguistic fluency perfectly, she also reminded us that we are safe and secure with Big Don at the helm. Sure, she obviously wouldn’t have been able to earn a perfect score on that very hard test, but she was able to channel some sort of magic to replicate the bigness with which our savior-esque president nailed it.
I know it might be upsetting for some of you to see a woman-of-unknown-origin creating content like this, but this is exactly what we need to help defeat Sleepy Joe Sniffsalot this November. Keep in mind, he’s got a woman-of-unknown-origin of his own that will be knocking on your door trying to take your guns and bibles on November 5th. It might seem like a form of blasphemy to say this, but I think we need this Sarah Cooper gal.
If listening to a woman isn’t your bag, and BELIEVE you me, I completely understand, maybe you’d enjoy the reflections of boy-next-door, Brent Terhune. Brent has been making videos that are sure to make you go, “yep, I saw that on Facebook, so I know it’s true!” Whether he’s taking down the soy boys or defending perfect Christian, Jerry Falwell Jr., Brent Terhune is a real man of genius. If you follow him on Twitter, you’ll note that he spends most of him time taking down the liberal cucks who question his devotion to El Capitan (apologies for using Mexican right there, you can use Google Translate if need be).
LEAVE JERRY FALWELL JR ALONE pic.twitter.com/SHnNxmxOaS
— Brent Terhune (@BrentTerhune) August 25, 2020
I know these are tough times for all of us. They’re locking up poor teenagers “resolving conflicts” with the only means possible (assault riffles obviously), and they’re taking away our sports because they’re sad some fella had to learn the hard way not to get shot 7 times in the back. If anything is going to get us through the slightly irritating situation, it’s going to be these two.