By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars
President Donald Trump is taking his abuse of immigrant children to a whole new level—
An animated level.
In a recent interview with CBS (Cyber Bullying Sickos), Trump called out Nick Jr. star Dora the Explorer for having “questionable origins” and “some very not good connections with some very not good people.”
“Let’s talk real here,” he told CBS correspondent Victor Matt. “Dora the Explorer is not good for this country. Believe me. I know this. Many, many dozens of people have told me this.”
Trump went on to accuse Dora of being “sneaky” and “very not transparent” about her activities in the United States.
“I mean, this backpack she carries around everywhere. This purple backpack. Do we even know what’s in this backpack? There is an entire song about this backpack. I know this. I have heard it. On many occasions, I have heard it. It’s like, ‘backpack, backpack, blah blah, backpack.’ It makes you wonder, what exactly is in this backpack?
“I will tell you one thing that is probably, definitely not in this backpack. A green card.”
Trump went on to suggest that Dora may be part of a drug trafficking operation stemming from Mexico.
“I will also tell you this. It’s probably drugs in this backpack. Lots of drugs from some bad, bad hombres. You know, 90% of the drugs coming into the United States come through Mexico and our southern border. And this girl, I don’t know, she looks like she could be from Mexico. I know about these people. These people put some very bad, very not good things in backpacks.”
Shortly after CBS aired the interview, the president continued to express his concerns to the American public. In a totally uncharacteristic and grammatically-incorrect move, Trump took to Twitter to further bully the beloved children’s show character, this time also bringing her pet monkey “Boots” into question.
Apparently, Trump is just peachy—literally—with orange human beings but has zero tolerance for purple-hued primates. In a follow-up press conference, he told reporters he doesn’t trust “that bug-eyed girl or her anomalously*-colored monkey.”
*A White House source confirmed that Trump learned the word “anomalously” from a word-a-day calendar gifted to him by senior adviser Stephen Miller.
“I mean, at the very least, we have to detain the monkey, right?” he said. “I don’t know. I don’t know about that monkey. I mean, this monkey. This monkey is purple. What kind of monkey is purple? I’ve never seen a purple monkey, and I have seen many, many of things. Maybe this monkey is taking some of whatever is in that purple backpack. I don’t know. But I do know that whatever it is, it’s no bueno. Very, very no bueno.”
Trump also cited Dora’s relationship with her friend “Map” as “proof that she and her monkey are definitely, almost 100% certainly not from this country.”
“She can take her map and just go back where she came from,” he said. “I will tell you this: I was born in this country, and I don’t need a map to find my way around it.”
When asked after the press conference whether he is concerned that his comments about Dora, a young woman of color, were seen as racist by some, or that white nationalist groups are now using “Deport Dora” as their most recent rallying cry, Trump said, “It doesn’t concern me because many people agree with me.”
About the Author
Samantha Wassel is an Army Wife and SAHM to three energetic boys and three lazy AF cats. She enjoys running, writing, kettle-belling, reading, nerding out, and eating exorbitant amounts of goat cheese and Peanut Butter Halo Top ice cream (but not together, because barf). You can find more of her work at Between the Monkey Bars.