To the moms who got kicked out of Bad Moms for bringing your babies,

Get over your Fear of Missing Out.

Being a parent means having to miss out on stuff sometimes — actually, a lot of times. And a movie theater full of other mothers who are looking forward to a night away from their kids is a place where your babies don’t belong (not to mention that it’s against the theater’s policy to have them there).

Sure, I understand your frantic need to get the hell out of the house and feel like a real person again. I also trust that you would have done all you could to quiet your fussing babies, but by that point, it’d be too late. The cry of a small babe, no matter how precious she might be, is a sound that immediately kills my Chili’s margarita-induced buzz.

Your baby won’t be tethered to you for food forever, but in the meantime, you are limited on where you can go— not because breastfeeding is inappropriate, but because bringing babies to the movies is.

Here is a list of places where it is and is not acceptable to bring babies:

Not OK:

• Movie theaters (for non-kid movies)
• Bank heists
• The set of porn movies

OK:

• Everywhere else (especially Donald Trump rallies)

Yes, the code of mothers calls for supporting one another, but not if you’re actually cock blocking my night of fun. Parenting means disappointment in the name of the greater good. The sooner you come to terms with this, the faster you’ll be at peace with your life transition.

I’ve had to cancel a vacation due to a Hand, Foot, and Mouth outbreak, give up numerous dinner plans because of sick kids or no show sitters, and decline outings with friends because they’d be impossible with children, and I’ve only been a mother for three years. It’s the way it goes.

I’ve also brought a baby on a party bus to go wine tasting and have flown first class with two toddlers a few times. I’ve pushed the limits on baby-bringing appropriateness, and I’ve had my reasons for doing it, just as you had yours. But a movie theater full of other moms out for a night of fun is precisely where I draw the line.

We totally get it. And that’s why we’re trying to get away from it.

*****

About the Author

Rebecca Lang is a contributing writer for San Francisco Moms Blog and has been published on a variety of parenting sites. She writes about stay-at-home moms, preschool and the playground, but swears she can talk about non-mom stuff in real life. Follow her at BeckyRebecca.com and on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.