A two-minute Halloween PSA about gender stereotypes is making its way into our newsfeeds for all of the right reasons. The video, written by Alexander Day and Brian Carufe, is pulling on our heartstrings and tapping into the vulnerability we feel as parents as we give our kids the freedom to be themselves.
The video, called “My Heroes,” shows a two-kid, mom and dad family getting ready for Halloween. We see Mom, Son, and Daughter come home with pumpkins to carve with Dad. We then see two very excited kids grab Halloween costumes and run upstairs to get ready for trick-or-treating as Dad looks anxiously at Mom.
The parents take their happy and confident Batman and Wonder Woman into the neighborhood, but Dad is still visibly nervous as his kids ring the first doorbell. After a woman smiles and praises the kids’ costume choices, their parents relax a bit. It’s not until the end of the video that we see that the little boy was dressed as Wonder Woman and his sister was Batman.
As Dad closes the door to his kids’ room, he whispers, “My heroes.”
The video ends with the reminder to be whoever we want to be. But that is often easier said than done, especially for kids who are at the mercy of their parent’s or guardian’s acceptance of who they are and how they want to express themselves.
As a queer, gender non-conforming mama to three kids, my partner and I have avoided using the terms “for a boy” or “for a girl.” Toys are just toys. Colors are just colors. And clothes are just clothes. We encourage our kids to play with, create, and wear what feels right for them—obviously within age appropriate guidelines. But their gender identity does not limit or determine their choices. And it certainly doesn’t dictate what Halloween costume they put on for an evening of sugar-filled fun.
I know not all parents see the world through the same lens I do, one that shows a heteronormative world I am often watching from the sidelines; but I want all parents to let go of what they think it means for their sons and daughters to be boys and girls. A child should not feel shame or fear for wearing something that society says is against gender roles. And a parent should be the last person to make their child feel that way.
Self-acceptance comes from being accepted at home. It shouldn’t matter what our neighbors, friends, or family think. We owe it to our kids to let them be themselves, even if it feels uncomfortable or different than the way we were raised. Our job is to raise happy and confident kids. When we show them kindness and understanding, they will put that into the world. And our world can certainly use more of both.
Let your girls be Batman. Let your boys be Wonder Woman. They are all heroes.