This election’s been a tough one, you guys. I’m not sure how many of you out there agree, but next to my children’s births and the day I finally completed my Master’s degree, this Election Day is just about the most exciting event of my life.
While I’m definitely going to miss the fodder for my blog and the hilarious memes that have sprung from this presidential race, there are without question many, many more things I’m looking forward to once the election’s actually over. Things like:
-Not having to be exposed so frequently to the commentary of political pundits.
-Social media newsfeeds free of politics (I recognize the irony here).
-Not having to hear such utter stupidity from fellow citizens as the exchanges that appear below:
-Being able to watch TV for one goddamned hour without wanting to stab my eyeballs and eardrums out with a rusty nail in an attempt to unsee the political propaganda taking up our commercial airspace.
-Not having to hear about how the gays or the immigrants are destroying this country with their audacious demand to be treated equally to other human beings.
-Viewing my friends and family with differing political affiliations as just that — friends and family — instead of the opposition.
-Not having to endure the onslaught of blatant misogyny at every turn.
-The return of our nation’s bigots and religious fundamentalists to the swamps and rocks from which they came.
-Freedom from mass exposure to what every crusty old white dude thinks I should do with my uterus and vagina and what constitutes legitimate violation of my lady places versus what does not.
-Media’s return to having its pants only partially on fire as opposed to fully fucking blazing (LIARS, LIARS).
-No more talk of bad hombres, “the African Americans,” nasty women, or anybody for prison.
-Giving people on the highway the middle finger because they’re shitty drivers and not because of their political bumper stickers.
-Hours-long, uninterrupted Law and Order: SVU marathons. I’m sick of these damn debates and election specials screwing with my evening smut.
-The return of silly videos of cats playing the fiddle and geckos eating cake dominating YouTube.
-Respite from my slow but steady descent into alcoholism.
-Pretty much everything.