If you’re in need of a serious laugh, Amazon has got you covered.
In a twist of comedic fate, Amazon reviewers have taken the Make America Great Again Red Cap Collectible Ornament by storm, voicing their dissatisfaction (or just plain bewilderment) at our country’s state of affairs in a collection of one-star reviews that’ll make even the most down and out among us crack a smile.
Highlights of the reviews include:
Tiny hands down, best ornament ever. I know it. You know it. Scott Baio knows it. Everybody knows it. However, I ordered the matching Pence ornament and it keeps using the lights on my tree to electrocute the wise men in my nativity.
Not safe if you have cats in the house.
Like most people I didn’t want this ornament, but I was stuck with it. Once it was hung, my Christmas tree started shooting pine needles out its wherever.
Save your money. I purchased this with hopes of destroying one of his seven horcruxes, but it’s just a cheap piece of crap made in China. On the upside, it shouts “nasty woman” every time I walk by it.
Every time I try to hang it on the branch, it yells “WRONG!” No matter which branch I try, it’s “WRONG!” My brother and father can hang it up just fine, but when my mother and I try, it’s just “WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!” Also, in the middle of the night, I’ll hear it loudly yell “SHE’S A FOUR.” When I go into the living room to investigate, our angel tree-topper will be on the floor and a naked Barbie will be at the top of the tree.
This ornament can’t stop grabbing my pet cat. I’m not really sure why. Plus, it wasn’t even the ornament I ordered. I wanted one qualified to decorate my tree, and instead I got an orange-ish eyesore that keeps trying to log onto Twitter.
The angel on top of my tree just hired a lawyer.
But arguably the most hilarious of the reviews are the ones that touch on the very real and not-so-funny fears and concerns many Americans have:
It tried to put my nativity figures into an internment camp. Would not buy again.
Came with an entire crate of white hood ornaments. Great bargain! Downside: My tree is now on fire.
My friends told me to “give it a chance” and it immediately invited several neo-Nazis into my house.
Ornament keeps calling the police on my Black and Puerto Rican roommates in their own apartment. I keep having to use my white-passing privilege so none of us get shot.
Clearly, America has a lot of healing and work to do. In the meantime, they say laughter is the best medicine. So thank you, Amazon shoppers, for doing your part to inject whatever small amount of humor you can muster into our miserable existence.