By Sarah Hunter of Diaper Pails and Funny Tales
We all know that new moms tend to let themselves go in the months (read: years) following birth. When you see the baby-toting Mama with hair three days past dirty, you usually cut her some slack. You may even note that she is trying to appear “fancy” by wearing her black yoga pants sans crotch holes. (God Bless you for noticing!) And if you happen to encounter the Other Mothers, the ones with the fresh blowouts, manicured nails, wearing jeans(!) you may roll your eyes.
Or is that just me?
But maybe those O.M.’s have the right idea. I can pinpoint the day that I hit rock bottom. Okay, not the day—but the outfit (I am using that term loosely; “outfit” is a glorified word for what I wore to work that day.)
I had been slowly creeping to the point of not giving the tiniest of rat’s asses for months after E was born. First it was the make-up that went out the window. Then a few minutes of extra sleep ALWAYS trumped hair washing. ( I discovered baseball caps could stretch the time between washing by almost two days, if you could stand the itching!) Finally, I began playing fast and loose with the ever popular yoga pant. I would test the waters at work with wearing them once a week, got bolder and soon, they were a daily staple. Imagine! Wearing something that resembled a dress pant with the ability to stretch with you as you eat…
Newsflash: You aren’t fooling anyone with those Lycra pants, my friend.
Anyway, I was feeling extra frumpy, so I thought I’d try a little harder that day. My last hair washing had been the night before, so things were already going my way. I may even have put on mascara. Naturally I was wearing my yoga pants, the steel colored ones. (Looking back, that color can better be described as “Aging Whale.”) I was ready to throw on the old Knicks zip up hoodie when I thought, “I am better than this!” and grabbed a navy turtleneck sweater. With a “Watch Out World!” saunter, I strolled to the kitchen to grab my lunch and head out the door when my husband stopped me.
“Is that what you are wearing?”
We all know that is a dangerous question for a woman. Never mind that he asked it not with disgust and alarm, but confusion and almost a sadness in his voice. I was immediately defensive and angered, giving him a cold, “Yes! Why?”
“Because… you’re wearing a turtleneck sweater…with yoga pants and sneakers. And you may have a camel-toe.”
Sadly, it wasn’t until much later that day that I realized the reason for his concern. Those clothes had no business being paired together, let alone in an office. It was no wonder I was always feeling down, chubby, and gross. I was looking the part daily and only pretending to try. Of course, looks aren’t everything. I don’t believe you should sacrifice comfort for beauty unless you are going to a formal event or meeting Ryan Gosling. Sometimes being a parent means you can’t always look your best. But if you look frumpy, chances are you feel frumpy, right?
I am happy to say it’s been at least 30 days since my last yoga pants incident. Don’t misunderstand, my jeans are still quite stretchy. But I have thrown a little blush and eyeliner on and worn my hair down a few days this month. Most importantly, I feel like I am leaps and bounds from where I was mood and confidence-wise. I urge all you mamas to treat yourself to a nice pair of jeans that fit (disregard that they might be a size or two up!) and put away the yoga pants.
At least M-F, 9-5. After 5:01 PM, it’s game on.
This post was originally published on Diaper Pails and Funny Tales.
About Sarah Hunter
Sarah is Mama to “E” (SNL cast member, 2033-?) and Bun-Oven to “Tater Butt”(Destined for Greatness). When she’s not busy being Thor or finding ALL the things for her family, Sarah enjoys writing about the lighter side of Motherhood. Join her on her journey from a small town in Michigan to an even smaller town in New York, as she pretends to have it all together. Follow her blog Diaper Pails and Funny Tales and find her on Facebook and Twitter.