By Kristina Hammer of The Angrivated Mom
Dearest Hubby,
There is no such thing as the perfect toy, and with Christmas coming I need to get this through your stubborn head quicker than the kids can spill something on a freshly-washed floor.
You see, there is NO toy which will light up their faces brighter than Rudolph’s nose, keep them occupied and interested for years on end, and be durable enough to last for decades to come. You can search high and low, research all the options, and ask every parent you know, but you won’t find it. It doesn’t exist; I promise.
Every year, our children painstakingly craft their Christmas lists — full of magical items they’ve coveted all year long, entranced by every repetitive and worn-out commercial — and every year you critique their lists with the scrutiny of Mr. Scrooge. Nothing meets your arbitrary approval. Toys are too cheap. Too boring. Too stupid. Too small, or too big, and not one item will meet your perfectionism criterion.
See, the thing is, my dearest husband, your perception of children and playthings is all askew. Romanticized even. You revel in the implied happily ever afters when the Toys-R-Us and Target commercials end. You fall for their spiel hook, line, and sinker, but advertisement is a farcical b!$@h! (And sorry if I’m bursting your bubble, but if you sit back and take a long hard look at yourself, you will see what I’m talking about.)
Try it. Put your child in front of the television and play nothing but toy commercials over and over again. I guarantee you they will want almost everything — regardless of gender, age range, capabilities, or skill-level involved. (The word “favorite” does not hold true to definition in the minds of children everywhere. It is merely an exclamation of love when referring to anything they see, and everything can change in the blink of an eye.)
Plus, dearest husband, haven’t you noticed what your children do all day anyhow? All those toys they already own? You expected they would be “the one,” and sure, they were absolutely thrilled and ecstatic when they received each one, but not one of them was coveted as you had hoped. They will all be deemed the “favorite” for a few hours, days, or weeks, but in the end, every last toy will lose the splendor. It will be lost in the bottom of the toy box as they move on to the next one. Plus, children don’t limit their “playthings” to those which fall into some conventional toy definition. (Alternative favorites include cardboard boxes, packing materials, empty bottles, string, the contents of the refrigerator, tampons, dirt, entire rolls of tape, toothpaste.)
The point is, kids will play with anything; there are no limitations, boundaries, or protocol to follow in determining what can become a toy.
It seems to me, my love, in all this hoopla over the perfect toy, you have forgotten who and what the toy is for. Your child and Christmas is what this “toy” is about, not your own selfish need for unrealistic perfectionism. And there is no such thing as perfect when it comes to raising children, either, you know. The gift is about the experience you are creating for the recipient. It is about bringing light and happiness through the magic of giving from the heart into this otherwise thoughtless world.
And you aren’t giving from the heart if the gift must meet your own expectations instead of those of the one receiving it.
This post originally appeared on The Angrivated Mom.
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About Kristina Hammer
Kristina is “the Angrivated Mom” of four kids who drive her to insanity — and beyond — on a daily basis. They’ve turned her house into a zoo full of pets, and the challenge if keeping it all running is daunting. She is a writer by nature and poet by heart, but only a blogger by nurture. You can find her ramblings at The Angrivated Mom, or on Facebook, at The Daily Rantings Of An Angrivated Mom.