By Abby Byrd of Little Miss Perfect
Experts are warning parents to be on the lookout for the latest dangerous teen trend, the Kim Kardashian Butt Challenge.
What Is It?
Most parents have heard about the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge, in which teens attempt to make their lips swell by putting their mouths into the opening of a shot glass and sucking in, creating a vacuum.
However, parents shouldn’t underestimate the Kardashian posterior, which continues to captivate America’s youth, say experts. Young girls are now challenging one another to increase cheek size by applying suction to the buttocks, typically with a vacuum cleaner attachment or toilet plunger. Since the challenge is difficult to implement alone, girls frequently attempt it in partners or groups, some even arranging “butt suck parties.”
The effects of the Kim Kardashian Butt Challenge depend on how long suction is applied to the buttocks. Most teens will experience mild to moderate gluteal bruising. Long-term effects include scarring, permanent disfigurement, utter self-absorption, owning a pair of shorts with the word “Bootylicious” emblazoned on the butt, and procreating with Kanye West.
Who is at Risk?
A girl is at greatest risk if she
- Has a thin frame
- Is white
- Has low self-esteem
- Has been exposed to Keeping Up with the Kardashians on E!
Take immediate action if your child:
- Frequently looks critically in mirrors at her own backside
- Winces when sitting down, prefers to stand, or requests one of those squishy butt donuts given to sufferers of broken tailbones
- Shows a greater-than-usual interest in vacuuming or plunging toilets
- Hoards the plunger or vacuum in her room for long periods, claiming to be “cleaning”
- Pressures you to buy a Dyson
Experts note that boys who hoard the vacuum may be attempting the Liam Neeson Dick Challenge, which is toooootally different but equally dangerous.
About the Author
Abby Byrd is a teacher, a grammarian, and the poster mom for existential angst. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy/Club Mid, In The Powder Room, BLUNTMoms, Mamalode, The Good Men Project, The Reject Pile, and The Big Jewel, as well as in two anthologies. She is a frequent contributor to MockMom. Follow her on Twitter, on Facebook, and at her blog, Little Miss Perfect.