By Tiffany Sedberry of Write Handed Woman
I’ve had several jobs in my time. None of them were as difficult as teaching or staying at home with my son. How can that be when teachers have a room full of kids and SAHMs may only have one? Going from the classroom (both middle school and undergraduate) to the homerooms (see what I did there?), I have found stark similarities between the two gigs:
1. On call 24/7.
When I was a teacher, I had to be accessible at all times via email. While I may not have responded to your 10 PM email about why Johnny missed the 5th assignment in a row, it was in the back of my mind as I crafted a reply for first thing in the morning (despite trying to “take a break” from the teacher life and not think about school). Teachers are teachers morning, noon, and night.
It’s true SAHMs gets to sleep when the baby sleeps during the day (well, I hear some people do that). But moms never really check out of the mom life. 2 am? 4 am? 6 am? Yep, that’s us. Being accessible.
2. Evenings and weekends? Hardly.
Evenings are not your own as a teacher. Don’t even get me started on how much grading and lesson planning takes place in the evenings. But on top of that, almost every teacher I know coaches a sport, sponsors committees, works with choirs or plays, or tutors and helps students in their “spare” time. Your evenings are really not your own to kick back. It’s teaching in a slightly different setting.
As a new mom, I realized immediately that my schedule is not my own. From now and into the foreseeable future, every evening and weekend on the calendar might as well have my son’s name in all caps. If Mr. Dad has to work late, my hours extend as the sole human on the island of chaos. Speaking of…
3. You’re the lone expert...
When I taught my first 7th grade class, I was scared shitless. When I got my first classroom, that was it. I was the expert. I was the adult. I was the authority in a room with up to 30 pre-teens. And I had no idea what I was doing. But, I walked to the front, introduced myself, and started teaching. With time and experience came confidence.
The moment it really smacked me in the face that I was a mom was leaving the hospital. They just let me walk out with this kid? I have no idea what I am doing! But each day, I take a deep breath and mother the hell out of the hours I am awake. It’s getting easier.
4. … but everyone has an opinion.
Teaching is one of those rare professions that everyone is connected to. Years of school has somehow given people permission to critique those who have gone to school and trained to be at the head of the class. I don’t ever hear people remarking on how lawyers should handle cases, how nurses should dispense medication, or how farmers should handle the weather. Teachers have experiences you don’t.
Becoming a mom means I opened myself up for all kinds of unsolicited commentary. Even other moms freely dispense advice, which is great. But no one really knows what your baby is like. What worked for one kid doesn’t mean it works for others.
5. The only thing predictable is the unpredictable.
When I was teaching middle school, I had learned to laugh and laugh often. Some days I rocked my lessons, the kids were learning, and I felt like I had developed a scholarly community. Other days, I would be scurrying around all period and just before the bell, I would see that one of my 8th grade boys had found scotch tape (aside from the roll on my desk) and had taped his eyelids and eyebrows up, his cheeks back, and his lips down and stared quietly at me from the back of the room. Some days, you raise the white flag of surrender, hunker down, and pray for the dismissal bell.
Some days, my four-month-old is an angel and everything works. He sleeps on cue. He eats the perfect amount. He plays on the play mat. He lets me read to him. The next day? Everything makes him angry and I feel like I am playing catch up to these “windows” I miss for sleep, for food, or for stimulation, and I watch the clock and countdown the hours to hand baby to Mr. Dad and grab a beer.
6. The pay is bad, the stress is high, but the kids are the greatest.
I challenge you to find a teacher who doesn’t love students. It is why they continue to walk in the doors of their school every day, every semester, year after year. Teachers aren’t paid enough for what they do, but the reward of working with kids and making a lifelong impact or connection is what it is all about. It’s a tough, tough job and sticking with it makes you a warrior. You have to be strong to be a teacher, but you also have to love kids.
I’m a stay-at-home mom now. My main duty is childcare, but I’m so much more than that. I’m a chauffeur to appointments. I am the financier in charge of bills. I’m a housekeeper. I’m a second-class cook (thank goodness Mr. Dad isn’t). I’m a hostess and party planner. And I do it all for no pay. But when I think about my son? It’s not even a question that he is the most beautiful and wonderful reward despite the sleepless nights or the stressful times he cries constantly.
Teaching and parenting aren’t all that unlike one another. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
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About the Author
Tiffany is Mama PHD, a former teacher with a PhD who is now a SAHM to a beautiful boy and a gigantic German Shepherd. Nestled among the cornfields of the midwest, she can be found enjoying craft beer, listening to vinyls, planning trips to escape the corn, and writing daily. Follow her blog: Write Handed Woman.