Make sure your chimneys and door frames are up to code. If not, Santa may opt to skip your home, you derelict trash.
Who else can you fake call all through November and December to get your kids to brush their damn teeth?
Holidays can make you want to pull your hair out. So can toddlers. Combine them and by the middle of December, your insides will burn like they’re at war with each other. You’ll be running around with leftover fruitcake crumbs stuck to your chin, babbling nonsense about never celebrating another holiday for the rest of your life. Trust […]