I breezed through the cereal aisle. Normally I have to field multiple requests for Sugar Smack Bomb cereal.
If there’s one thing you can count on year-round, it’s the endless supply of fuckery and nonsense, courtesy of your children.
If you have your family in the car, you’re simply one high-pitched wail away from accidentally hitting the wrong pedal and slamming into a dumpster.
Decide to move to Norway. Hope everyone is willing to help get your son into his snow clothes! It takes a village and they’re into Democratic Socialism, right?
Thanks for the memories, but we sure won’t miss you. See you next year when we get together and do it all again!
“Did our other kids do this? Why are you looking at me like that?”
You could always set up an industrial Hazmat foyer for decontaminating your kids every time they enter the house.
Who else can you fake call all through November and December to get your kids to brush their damn teeth?