Sure, it might be fun, but you’ll also probably leave with a whole lot of sand, a crying child, and a belly full of overpriced fries and regret.
By Samantha Labriola of Mother Haggard The first support group meeting for people who hate wearing shorts in summer took place last week to an astounding turnout, filling the St. Ignatius Church basement hall to near capacity. “You can still enjoy summer and the hot weather even if you don’t like wearing shorts,” insisted Joanna […]
“No, I don’t want to role play Spiderman rescues Princess Leia for the fourth night in a row.”
Parties are supposed to be fun; however, a children’s party is a special kind of vortex where fun goes to die.
“We only had to listen to the recording once,” the head of the committee told us. “We couldn’t take another second of that shit.”
Anxiety is a pain in the ass for sure, but it also happens to be such a relatable experience that it can make for some great jokes.
Look for parents who are always hitting, shooting, throwing, and/or kicking balls. Playing with kids might be optional, but bragging is not.
Parents are the original eternal optimists, because we will be damned if we are putting our lives on hold until these kids learn to act right.