Our heroes have shifted from being the greatest athletes and celebrities to being everyday citizens that we once took for granted.
You could always set up an industrial Hazmat foyer for decontaminating your kids every time they enter the house.
It looks about as you would expect: naked rears and fannies/packages splayed out towards our solar overlord, just begging to soak up that (vitamin) D.
The last time I hoovered an entire pan of brownies guilt-free, I was five and still believed my mother that Husky Girls’ Clothing was for kids who like dogs.
What good is eating food if you can’t do so in a way that makes you feel far superior to all of your lowly, carb-indulgent Facebook friends?
Although we love our children dearly, that love comes with a steep price. It’s too bad it doesn’t also come with an industrial vat of lemon ginger water.
Save all your thoughts and prayers for the menfolk! They will need them to deal with this absolutely deadly case of the sniffles.
Seinfeld’s George Costanza, the Godfather of Desk Napping, would be proud.