Joy and merriment drip down into my teeth as I scroll past your pathetic #happyfallyall pics.
This period of time is like if Mercury retrograde decided to squat on your calendar with a wine and cheese hangover.
Make sure your chimneys and door frames are up to code. If not, Santa may opt to skip your home, you derelict trash.
Luckily, we all can recognize that this time of year is a shitshow. An expensive, joyous, and sparkling shitshow.
Let’s all take a minute to appreciate all the hard work and effort that it took to make that magic happen.
At approximately 3 am, the veil between worlds is thinnest, so this is a great time to go to the local Walmart and cast a circle in the parking lot to ensure yourself a space.
Who else can you fake call all through November and December to get your kids to brush their damn teeth?
Yep, you heard me right. Jennifer Sinclair, a school principal at the Manchester Elementary School in Nebraska, is making headlines after sending out a memo to her staff prohibiting Christmas-related symbols. What kind of “symbols,” you ask? Well, candy canes for starters because “the shape is a ‘J’ for Jesus.” According to FOX 42, Principal […]