By Heidi Hamm

Move over HIIT, Crossfit and Soul Cycle, there is a new fitness trend in the UK and it is all about slowing down. Way down. So leave that exercise gear at home, put on your favorite PG-rated pjs and head across the pond to David Lloyd Clubs.

Napercise. As in, napping as exercise. Yup, I’m serious. Who knew napping could be a sport? But then again, why not? If getting a hot bath can burn the same amount of calories as a slow jog, why not power napping?

According to the David Lloyd Clubs website, “the 40 winks workout” was specifically created with the exhausted parent in mind. Recognizing that sleep is a rare commodity and many of us are in a constant state of fatigue, they decided to address the issue by offering a wellbeing class for the sleep deprived. In other words, napercise. “Our mid-afternoon studio sleep session is 45-minutes long and is designed to reinvigorate the mind, the body and even burn the odd calorie.”

Burning calories. By napping. Yesss!

“Upon arrival in the studio guests will find the spin-bikes swapped for single beds, and upbeat workout tunes ditched in favour of atmospheric sounds, to create the perfect environment for the soporific sessions to take place. The studio temperature will also be dropped to a level that promotes calorie burning during sleep.”

And the trial classes taking place Saturday, April 29th and Sunday, April 30th are already fully booked. It would seem that mama and papa really do need those 40 winks.

I am all for getting a bit of shuteye. What eternally exhausted parent isn’t? And the idea of finally being able to say, “I’m off to the gym!” and actually mean it, instead of sneaking off to Starbucks and consuming a gazillion calorie-laden super sized double espresso drinks just to keep my eyes marginally open for the day is appealing. But sleeping with a bunch of strangers? And paying for it? Um. No. Just no.

First of all, sleeping on demand isn’t my jam. It takes me forever to get my mind to slow down enough to corral the thousands of thoughts whirling around in there. When I get a one-hour massage it takes me 55 minutes of telling myself to “just relax” to finally enjoy the final 5 minutes. So by the time the rest of my co-sleeping pals are done with their restorative super nap, I will just be starting to relax my toes.

Then there is the whole issue I have with people and nose noises. You heard me right. Nose noises. I can barely stand taking public transit for this very reason. All the snorting and sniffing. Now I’m supposed to be in a room full of potential snorers, whistlers and wheezers?

What happens if someone is snoring? Do they get a jab in the ribs? Rolled over? Are they handed a package of Breathe Right Nasal Strips? Are they gently but firmly escorted out? Is it possible to fail at napping class?

Speaking on behalf of the majority of parents out there, yes, we are freaking exhausted. It wouldn’t be a huge stretch for most of us to play the zombies on the “Walking Dead.” And if you can get some extra zzzz’s at the gym, more power to you. But for me? I think I’ll be doing what I’ve done with all of the previous fitness fads that have been making their rounds.

I’ll be sitting this one out and getting my 40 winks alone.

*****

About the Author

Heidi Hamm is a writer, wife and mom of 6-year-old twin boys with the alter egos of the Hulk and Spiderman and their 8-year-old sister, who is in training to rule a small (or large) country someday. She has been published on Sammiches and Psych Meds, Scary Mommy and Mamalode. You can also find her on Facebook.