MockMom

Skillful Mother of Two Finishes Coffee Before It Gets Cold

By Jill Morgenstern of Do Try This at Home

A spontaneous celebration broke out on East Caroline Street yesterday upon a mother’s announcement that she had finished an entire cup of coffee before it got cold.

“I’m used to cold coffee, actually,” she told reporters. “I was a teacher before I had children, so I already knew how difficult it can be to take a sip of a warm beverage with children around.”

Sandra Gardner was going about her business as if it were any other day. “I had just thrown a load of laundry into the wash and was wondering where I left my keys. I was worried that Becky would be late for school, and I was trying to encourage Jordie to finish his oatmeal. I took the last sip of my coffee, and I realized that it was still hot and fresh tasting!”

Sandra posted the information to Facebook, and it was immediately shared 86 times. Within ten minutes, her news had gone viral. “All my neighbors started coming over to congratulate me and ask me how I did it. My mother called right away and said that she had only been able to manage to drink iced coffee for the first six years of my life. She was impressed. I rarely get that kind of reaction from my mother.”

This victory hearkens another surprising coup that occurred last summer when Gardner finished an entire page in a novel she was reading for pleasure. “I actually read the page in my book while my children were awake. It was an incredible feat of both endurance and fortitude. My neighbors have barely gotten over it and now this.”

When asked about her future plans, Gardner wondered if she might be a good candidate for teaching parenting classes. “After all, I’ve now finished a page in a fiction novel and finished an entire cup of coffee. Other parents will want to know how I’ve accomplished this, all while keeping my children bathed, fed, and free from lice!”

*****

About the Author

Jill Morgenstern is a wife, mother, and teacher. She has four kids ages 27 to three, 13 years of teaching experience, and a Master’s Degree in Teaching Reading, yet reserves the right to be wrong about everything. She writes about food, family, and the ridiculous at Do Try This at Home. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.