By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars
Hopkinton, MA — A mother of three is currently being investigated by Child Protective Services for forcing her kids to sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap during a recent trip to the North Lagomorpha Mall.
April Livingston says she was just trying to get a photograph of all her kids with the Easter Bunny when a casual shopper stepped in and told her that what she was doing was “irresponsible and emotionally
damaging.”
“Yes, my kids [ages one, two, and five] were crying,” she told us. “And, yes, I had to kind of force them to pose for the photo. But give me a break. Those kinds of pictures are all over the internet. Parents are always sharing funny photos of their kids looking terrified around Santa or the Easter Bunny or whatever. I certainly don’t think what I did was child abuse. I didn’t f*cking taser them onto that bunny’s lap.”
Livingston said that when she continued to ignore the woman making the accusations, the shopper stepped into a nearby essential oils shop and pulled out her cell phone. “I didn’t think too much of it at the time,” she said. “I assumed she was calling her spirit guide to see if there were any essential oils she could use as an enema to dissolve the giant stick she clearly had up her ass. But then later that night I got a phone call from CPS saying I was being investigated for ‘child abuse, specifically inflicting mental and emotional trauma by coercing children into unsolicited social relations with an abnormally large bipedal hare.’”
[adsanity id=”35667″ align=”aligncenter”/]And the charges didn’t stop there. Apparently, after CPS received the anonymous phone call regarding the Easter Bunny incident, they looked into Livingston’s social media accounts and found “further
evidence of child-bullying via nonelective interactions with cartoon-character-costumed adults.”
“So now they’re telling me this is ‘just one incident in a larger pattern of emotionally-damaging behavior,’” she told us. “And they’re gathering evidence to build a case against me. They’ve got a photo of my baby burping up in Santa’s beard, which they say is ‘a clear indication of infant distress.’ And
they’ve got a picture of my five-year-old picking his nose next to Mickey Mouse on our vacation to Disney last summer, which they’re calling ‘a blatant display of the child implementing a potentially harmful coping mechanism in response to his discomfort with being in close proximity to a giant
rodent.’”
Livingston said she and her husband have retained full custody of their children for the time being but plan on keeping a low public profile until the charges have been dropped.
“It’s ridiculous. You can’t do anything these days without strangers butting their noses in where they don’t belong,” she said. “I’m scared to even take them to church now. What if one of them sneezes during the service? I’ll probably be accused of involuntary exorcism or something.”
Livingston has also disabled all social media accounts until the investigation is complete, which she hopes to be by the beginning of June. “We have tickets for the Cubs vs Red Sox game,” she said. “And I’d really like to post a picture of the kids high-fiving Wally.”
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About the Author
Samantha Wassel is an Army Wife and SAHM to three energetic boys and three lazy AF cats. She enjoys running, writing, kettlebelling, reading, nerding out, and eating exorbitant amounts of goat cheese and Peanut Butter Halo Top ice cream (but not together, because barf). You can find more of her work at Between the Monkey Bars.