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Santa’s Naughty List Reaches Record Length After People Find Out He’s Black

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Santa Claus came to town — Bloomington, MN to be exact — and the heads of men and women all over the country are exploding at Mall of America’s audacity to take the white out of their White Christmas.

Indeed, people lost it over the thought that a plump old man in a little red coat who drives magical reindeer through the sky, gaining entrance to every home on the planet overnight via chimneys, could be dark-skinned.

Larry Jefferson of Irving, TX, caught the attention of a Santa recruiter at a Santa convention, according to the Washington Post, and was invited to be Mall of America’s very first black Santa in the 24 years that their doors have been open. Despite people of color being literally everywhere, many were appalled.

Oddly, the very same people who are so quick to ask “why everything has to be about race” are the ones making this about race. Stop pulling the race card, but also, don’t even think about putting a non-white Santa on my Christmas card.

Despite people boycotting Mall of America and spreading hateful comments about this news during a season that is supposed to be about love and kindness, Jefferson, a retired Army Veteran, put big smiles on the faces of boys and girls of all ages. Jefferson told the Washington Post that one woman said “she had been waiting 25 years to see a black Santa.”

Jefferson’s path to becoming Mall of America’s first Santa of color began when he was 12 and continued during his 30-year career as a Captain in the Army where he acted as Santa for the troops. You know, protecting our freedoms.

Jefferson handles himself with pride and class, even in the face of adversity. When a child told him he “didn’t know Santa was brown,” Jefferson simply said, “Yes, I am brown, and Santa comes in many different colors.”

Santa Larry is a badass, y’all.

Jefferson didn’t have to clap back at all his haters. The overwhelming response of customers requesting to have pictures taken with him meant he was booked solid with appointments.

After all this, Jefferson got the last laugh, saying, “It’s hilarious to me. I’m really humbled by it. Everyone’s making a big deal about this because I’m a black Santa. But gosh, I’m just Santa!”

He’s just Santa, people. Yes, we had a black Santa for four days. But did you die?

In other news, Santa has returned to the North Pole and is adding names to his Naughty List with the quickness. Ho, ho, ho, this was all a test. No truck nuts for you.