By Maura McCormick of Play Pen; The Irreverent Parents’ Guide
Theresa Guidice of Real Housewives fame has just released her newest book on the heels of her prison release from Danbury Correctional Facility. Healthy Inmate, the follow up to her bestselling cookbook, Skinny Italian, will hit bookshelves this week.
Theresa, ever the selfless reality star, said she is happy to share her vast knowledge of prison fitness in the hopes that more convicts like herself can maintain their shape for conjugal visits. “It also doesn’t hurt to have a nice booty when it comes to being picked as someone’s prison bitch,” she reminded us.
Because Theresa knows you can’t out-train a poor diet, chapter one breaks down her strategy for making the most of her three “hots.” Guida, as her fellow inmates came to call her after they couldn’t keep up on the correct pronunciation of her last name, says her favorite proteins were hot dogs and hamburgers, which were often on the menu in the mess hall.
She opted for a Paleo approach, not consuming anything a prisoner in the caveman era wouldn’t eat. “Minimal ingredientzes is what it’s really all about,” she explained. (The long-term effects of additives, like elbows and assholes, have yet to be determined.)
Theresa said she quickly became addicted to working out when she found little else available to entertain her. Although inmates are permitted to watch news programs on T.V. and read books and periodicals, Theresa explained that the negativity of current events doesn’t keep with her philosophy of “love and light.”
“I was wandering around one day, looking for the best cell service in the halls, and ended up walking right into the gym,” she laughed. She believed this was karma because the previous day, her celly, a prostitute, tried to shank her over a pair of shoes. “Ain’t nobody gonna steal my Bo-bo’s while I’m in the brig,” Theresa said.
That day, Theresa started a five-day regimen of strength training and cardio and hasn’t looked back since. Except when she felt someone watching her or when she heard the boot-steps of that prison guard who hates her. The reality star said squats are her favorite because it made hovering over prison toilets a breeze.
Now that Theresa is back in her New Jersey home with her family, she is continuing her weight training. “It’s important for me to be a role model for my girls. I want them to know the importance of physical fitness,” she said.
You can find all of Theresa’s fitness tips and tricks in her new book, which is available for purchase in fine retailers and prison commissaries nationwide.
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About the Author
Maura McCormick is the creator and publisher of Play Pen; The Irreverent Parents’ Guide. When she is not obsessing over her website she is making questionable parenting choices about raising her two daughters, Hollywood (6) and Baby (3). You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.