By Liv of Live By Surprise
#BabyBuddhaSucks is now trending on social media after twenty-two-and-a-half month old Chase Logan Preston the Third of Metropolis, Missouri had his brain completely sucked out of his head by his well-meaning mother while using a BabyBuddha Booger Blaster device on April 10th. The child is still listed in critical condition in the hospital after enduring an operation to re-transplant his brain.
A protest group outside the St. Ignatias Memorial Hospital in Metropolis is calling for a boycott of the popular baby product after seventeen reports of horrific tragedies resulting from the use of the infant item from across the United States.
The company’s website suggests that the product is doctor-invented and approved. The website touts the device as a “natural, hygienic baby booger blaster.” Instead of the popular bulb aspirator, which the company claims has its own issues with hygiene, the Booger Blaster device uses suction from an adult’s mouth through a tube to siphon mucas from baby’s nasal passages.
Chase’s mother, Melanie River Preston, clutched a blue baby blanket as she sobbed at a press conference outside the Missouri hospital. “He was crying ALL THE TIME. I was just trying to clear his nose in the hopes that he would go to sleep,” she said. “It was supposed to be the ‘All Natural’ solution. Instead I SUCKED MY BABY’S BRAIN RIGHT OUT OF HIS BODY!” Protesters in the crowd raised signs reading “Leave The Boogies Alone” and “BuddhaBaby Sucks!”
In the past year, this reporter has identified seventeen hospitals across the United States that have reported babies and toddlers admitted following use of the device, and similar reports have been recorded in several European countries.
The mother of another child in Kansas is still in the hospital unconscious after she used the device to “cure” her daughter’s constipation on April 12th. Her lungs were aspirated with fecal matter when the child’s blockage blew into her lungs as it released. The child’s father is said to be devastated; however, the child is no longer constipated. Although this is considered an “off-label” use of the product, consumers should be warned not to use the device in this manner.
Calls to manufacturer BabyBuddha were not returned as of the time of this report, but a press release dated April 15, 2016 says, “BabyBuddha takes this issue extremely seriously and will continue to cooperate with appropriate authorities to resolve this matter and ensure these issues do not re-occur. Really, it was intended as a gag gift for new parents. We never thought anyone would actually use it.
“Seriously, who would try to inhale snot out of their kids’ nose with a tube? That’s disgusting.”
If you think this post is real, it’s probably a good idea for you to take a look at this.
About the Author
Liv is the pseudonym for a rocking forty year old working mother of three who remarried after a terrible divorce, had a terrible car accident and almost lost her leg, and yet continues to have a positive attitude. Her work has been featured on ScaryMommy, HuffPost and The Mid, and she’s a contributing writer at DivorcedMoms.com. You can also check out her blog: Live By Surprise.